Restraint
by LotornoMiko
Summary: Belle finds herself tied to Hook's bed, and lets her imagination run wild. Hook's about to have a change in plans, and revelations may alter all three relationships before this can end. Hook, Belle, Rumplestiltskin
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer Time: I do not own Once Upon A Time or any of the characters from that show. Nor do I make any money off of this story. This is done purely for entertainment purposes.  
-Michelle

It wasn't just that Belle had had the need to prove to Rumplestiltskin that she could be more than just a damsel in distress. That she could be more than just the pretty book keeper. Belle had honestly wanted to HELP him. To not only find his son's memento, but to keep Rumple from going to that awful place inside him, that dark place that kept him from being a completely good man and instead made him into some cruel beast.

She was willing to do anything. Even if it meant going alone to Hook's ship, in search of Bae's scarf. And really, what was one pirate, when Belle had faced down not one, but two beasts in her short but eventful life?

It was thinking like that, that made her less nervous, Belle creeping around the inside of the ship. She was barely reacting to the fact the wooden planks seemed to magnify her every sound, her footsteps echoing loudly over and over again. If Hook WAS on this ship, he'd have already found her, guided by all the noise she was making. The fact that the pirate had yet to appear? Why it only bolstered her courage, Belle almost enjoying this little adventure.

Just as she would enjoy the look on Rumple's face, when she presented him with Bae's scarf, the garment and Belle none the worse for wear for all the trouble Hook had tried to cause. And maybe, just maybe, that pirate himself, would come to someday appreciate what Belle had done for him too. Both men would be unharmed thanks to Belle's interference, neither one having to die.

Belle truly thought she was solving everything, in sneaking onboard Hook's ship. She didn't know how bad the blood was between the two men. Didn't realize the extent of Rumplestiltskin's misdeeds, or to what lengths Hook was willing to go to for revenge. Simply put, Belle didn't know she was deluding herself where both Hook and Rumplestiltskin were concerned.

Using the same smarts that had allowed her to research and identify the boat part that had led her to Hook's ship, Belle deduced that the pirate would keep his most valuable items close to where he slept. And certainly his bedroom was a treasure trove of expensive and valuable things, Belle finding chests of coins, the amount of gold and silver the likes of which would have set her poor father and his kingdom salivating.

There was also trinkets, and jewels, even small, finely wrought pieces of porcelain. The few books in the room intrigued her most of all, Belle noting they were all leather bound first editions from their home world. There was even a solid gold compass laying on the desk whose drawers she had rifled through. And expensive looking clothing stuffed inside the closet, though she could not find Bae's scarf amidst all that leather.

There was even a case that held nothing but different hooks, each one finely polished, each one just different enough from all the others. Belle wondered what reason Hook would have to have them all be so different, the woman nearly giggling out loud at the thought of Hook color coordinating his outfits to match.

Eventually Belle had searched every possible nook and cranny but one. The bed loomed larger than life, it's frame bolted to the floor, to keep it from sliding during the ship's travels on the rough seas. What felt like silk or a good imitation of it, covered the bed, but Belle wasn't interested in the top of it. Not when she was eying the dark crawl space beneath it, the woman slowly dropping down to her knees.

There was a book on the floor, some ratty old journal that looked worn and well used. Belle was curious, but not enough to waste time on it, instead trying to reach for whatever might be under the bed. The very tips of her fingers touched something soft, but her attempts to grab it met with failure. But Belle was determined, crawling half under the bed, intent on that soft fabric that she hoped was Bae's scarf.

"Well now..." A husky tone from somewhere behind her. "That ass is as fine and welcoming a sight as I've ever been privileged to see."

She actually hit her head when the voice spoke to her. As sudden, as unexpected as his arrival was, even more surprising was what he had said. And the downright admiring tone he had used. Belle blushed furiously in the darkness under the bed, the bump on her head throbbing.

There was no helping it, Belle having to crawl backwards out from under the bed. As undignified as it was to be seen like that, to have had her posterior be the first thing Hook saw when he walked in on her in his bedroom, what Belle faced when she turned to him, wasn't exactly any better.

Eye to eye with the area of his pants just under his belt's buckle, Belle wondered how Hook had snuck up on her so easily. So quietly.

"Looking for this?" Hook asked, his tone amused. His expression was too, once Belle remembered to jerk her gaze upwards. The pirate was grinning, Bae's scarf in his hand.

Reacting in a split instant, Belle was still too slow, as she attempted to make a lunge for the scarf. She ended up plastered against Hook's front, the pirate holding the scarf higher out of her reach, his other arm going around her. The blunt side of his hook was at the small of her back, Belle's blush maintained as she made eye contact with the pirate.

"Give that back!" She started to say, but found him distracting with them pressed so close together. Certainly she would have never noticed his blazing blue eyes, or how that amusement reflected within them also glinted with a hint of mischief. Distracting, and almost impossible to keep from not noticing he had pressed her closer, their lips close enough to kiss if one of them would move in just the right way.

If Belle thought she had been blushing before, now she turned even redder. Not liking that she was thinking of kisses, or that she had noted how sensual his mouth looked to be. She attempted to move free of him, and that arm around her tightened it's grip, holding her easily, even as Belle squirmed.

Had Hook picked up on her unease? Was that why he kept on moving with her, staying right in her face, so that his lips were always teasingly too close? Certainly he helped shift her to fit better against his body, Belle noting the powerful build, and every hard muscle of a form that was fine.

Face flaming with her embarrassment, Belle hoped he was as distracted by her nearness, as she was by his. Not because she wanted him to be attracted to her, but for the opportunity it might offer her. She attempted to lunge for the scarf again, Hook tossing it away, but not before he made a tsking sound.

"Now, now lass..." Belle couldn't tear her eyes off of Hook, not even for a brief glance to gauge where the scarf had landed. "Don't you know better than to try and steal from a pirate?"

His words took a moment to register, and then Belle was indignant. "That doesn't belong to you."

"I believe the saying is, finders keepers...?"

"But you didn't find it!" Belle pointed out. "You purposefully took it from Rumple's safe."

His lips quirked just a little, as though he found it funny, the name she affectionately used when referring to Rumplestiltskin. "Yes, I did take it." He agreed. "But then, RUMPLE has always been bad at taking care of his possessions, let alone keeping them."

Why did she get the feeling Hook was talking about more than just the inanimate? But before she could hazard any true guesses, Hook was murmuring almost husky like to her.

"I wonder what else Rumple has that I can take?"

She was going to slap him. Really she was. Her lips actually parted on an outrage gasp, Belle's right arm tensing in preparation of the slap. But before she could launch the attack, his lips touched hers. And it was nothing like Rumplestiltskin's kiss.

Not that Belle had much experience with kissing him. In fact, she could count on one hand, and still have fingers left over as to the number of times she and Rumplestiltskin had actually kissed. And each time, while wonderful in it's own way, had been outright chaste. A mere brushing of lips together when compared to the hungry way Hook had at Belle's mouth now.

She actually made a sound, more surprised than protesting. Belle had never realized a kiss could be so deep, so wet. And though she was a woman educated by books, Hook's tongue still caught her by surprise. She knew OF kissing with tongues, having read this world's more...salacious and titillating books. Full of descriptions of sexual exploits, both wanted and not, Belle had rapidly developed an unhealthy addiction to this realm's idea of romance novels.

Of course reading and actually experiencing was two very different things, and Belle firmly told herself she wanted no one to kiss her like this but Rumplestiltskin. She just had to be patient, perhaps give Rumple a little nudge in the direction she wanted things to go. In the meantime, she shouldn't be experimenting, and she shouldn't be enjoying the pirate's kiss.

Wait, shouldn't? Belle shook with fury, telling herself she most definitely wasn't enjoying this. Never mind that it was heady, exciting, thrilling. Hook was a pirate, and an enemy, bound and determined to hurt Rumple. He'd use Belle herself if that's what it took, and she couldn't allow it.

But his hand now free of the scarf, was in her hair, holding her steady for his every dark impulse. His hook was still at her back, his arm still pinning her in place. Belle tried to squirm free, but it did nothing save make her whole front rub against his body.

To her mortification, she felt her nipples go stiff, Belle hoping, praying Hook wouldn't notice. The last thing she needed was for him to think she was inviting him, and why oh why wasn't he terrible at this? Maybe then she'd have been able to do something more than just voice a half hearted scream, Belle fighting not to melt any more than she might have already had. Her lips trembled, Belle fearing they were developing a mind of their own. A need of their own, to respond and kiss Hook back. And just as she was ready to give in, to give him that favorable response, he pulled back, breathing as heavy as she.

"Aye..." He said, his voice coming out on rasping breaths. "Aye lass, that will do."

Belle was dazed, confused, her chest heaving with the need for air. In that moment, if Hook's arm hadn't been around her, she would have collapsed onto the floor. She had barely registered what he had said, and her gaze was fixed on that mouth of his. Belle knew she should say something, should muster some indignant reaction to what had just happened. And she would, just as soon as she could remember something to respond to, other than the fact Hook had just kissed her in a way that made her toes curl in their shoes.

It wasn't until Hook had tipped them both down onto the bed's soft downy mattress, that Belle finally thought of something to say. Something she thought, HOPED, would be enough of a slap in the fact, to stop Hook from going any further.

"It's not enough that you took one woman from Rumple, you have to try again?"

It was a direct hit Belle had scored, the woman seeing the flinching look in Hook's eyes. But why did he show her such a wounded look, such raw pain when Hook was the one guilty of stealing Rumple's wife? Not close to understanding it, the look flashed away, Hook once again full of mischief and smirks.

"And are you close to being taken, lass?"

She blinked, then quickly shook her head at both of them. Him for the question asked, and her for the fact she had actually started to pause to think about it! She'd wonder what was wrong with her, but Belle knew. It was that damn kiss. It had affected her more than she had expected, more than she wanted. Well she wouldn't let it a second time, not when she knew what to expect, and was ready to guard against reacting.

"Shame." Hook said in response, never losing that grin. "Guess I'll have to do more to persuade you."

"There is nothing you can do..." She trailed off at the way his eyes lit up. Damn, but it figured Hook would be the type of man who liked a challenge.

"You do realize I'll be wanting to test that resolve of yours." It was then that she tried to scoot out from under him, Hook shifting with her so that her only avenue of escape was to back up to the bed's head board. And even that didn't get her very far, Hook crawling after her.

"Rumple will kill you." She stated, doing her best not to shake.

"Yes, I've no doubt one of us will be dead before this can come to a true end." Hook looked serious for one single instant, before that rakish smile flashed back into place. "But in the meantime, I intend to enjoy myself fully."

Something low in her body tightened in response to the way he purred out those words. It was a threat, she was sure of it, and yet Belle was getting all a flutter from his tone of voice, and the way he looked at her.

"What...what makes you think I'll just let you?" Belle asked. He gave her a look as though she was completely naive. "So what if you're bigger, and stronger than me. I won't simply just lie down and let you...let you..."

Oh God, he was kissing her again! And it felt just as good as the first one. Maybe even better, Belle fighting not to swoon.

She'd actually put a hand on his shoulder, but her fingers were digging into the leather of his coat, rather than trying to shove him away. Her other hand was caught by Hook, Belle not paying attention, not suspecting anything strange was going on. Not until she felt the metal encircle her thin wrist, Belle trying to jerk her arm free, and finding she couldn't move it more than an inch or two.

Even as she made an infuriated sound, Hook caught and cuffed her other wrist to the headboard of the bed. He had effectively bound her, and there was nothing she could do, Belle struggling, testing her restraints with hard jerking motions.

"Easy there lass." Hook's attempted to stop her, making another tsking sound. "You'll succeed at nothing but hurting yourself."

"You tricked me!" Belle snapped. He didn't deny it. "Why?" Then her eyes widened, Belle finally giving in to her shaking. "What are you going to do to me?" Hook's smirk was hardly reassuring, Belle resuming her violent struggles, fervently wishing she had done something more than just react in a daze to his kisses.

Dun Dun Dun...To Be Continued...

Ah...this requires some explaining. I've been trying to work on writing Taken chapter two. Only got a few paragraphs in, but doubt has sorta been paralyzing me. Plus I had a sorta bad headache, so didn't get much if any writing done yesterday.

So instead I was emptying out old emails, and found a plot bunny I had which was meant to be a Voltron story. Where the female ends up tied to the guy's bed. (There was a little more to it than that, but I can't say without spoiling my initial intents for THIS story here...)But I couldn't figure out how she ended up in his room, so never wrote it. Well reading that email where I talked about the idea, it made me realize I could use it for Hook and Belle! But...this was meant to be a one shot...however...I couldn't get it to exactly go like my initial thought. Belle hasn't been doing a lot of wild imagining yet . I may have to change the summary for future chapters, and damn but this is starting to take on a life of it's own. I mean, it's going much better I think than my attempt at Taken. So what was meant to be a one shot, I've already got plot bunnies in my head, with a way to make this a multi chapter story. Still gonna try to work on Taken though!

-Michelle


	2. Chapter 2

Belle was completely frantic, working herself up into a panic, as her repeated attempts to break free of the cuffs around her wrists failed. She couldn't stop trying, even as the metal bit unpleasantly into her skin, her arms seeming to hurt down to their sockets from how violently she was jerking on her wrists. And all because she knew, KNEW Hook was about to ravish her.

He wouldn't stop at kisses, Belle thought to herself. Hook would be all over her, peeling-ripping off her clothes. With that sharp hook of his, he'd have no trouble making rags of her dress, in tearing the under garments from her body. Leaving her naked and trembling, unable to prevent him from looking, Belle unable to cover herself, or turn away.

A mortified heat filled her, Belle jerking almost mindlessly on the cuffs. Knowing the pirate would do more than just look, he would touch, taste, experience her. He had that look about him, the kind of scoundrel who not only took what he wanted, but damn well made sure to corrupt the innocent he was enjoying. Belle had no problem imagining Hook as the kind of experienced seducer who would turn her body against her, forcing a reluctant enjoyment out of her that would lead to her eternal shame.

Her chest heaved with her breaths, Belle close to hyperventilating. Not wanting to, but unable to help but wonder how it would start. Would he admire her breasts half as much as he had her ass? Or would he go straight for his prize, readying her with his tongue and fingers? How would she survive such an experience?! How would she keep back her tortured cries?!

And then she was hyperventilating, Hook's hand grabbing one of her wrists, stopping it's frantic jerking motions. Her other hand continued, Belle wanting, needing to slap him. Not caring if it would make him angry. She needed out of this situation, and she needed out NOW!

Hook was speaking, but she couldn't concentrate. Couldn't focus to make out the words. He let go of her hand, and the bed shifted with his movements. Belle resumed panicking, trying to get free, and then a very big splash of water struck her in the face.

"As I was saying." Hook was all too calm, and matter of fact, setting down the now empty pitcher of water. "You need to calm down lass."

Belle blinked, then shook her head, trying to clear the drops that clung to her eyelashes, and the ones that streaked all over her face. Her neck and collar bone were wet too, water dripping down to her breasts. She was glad the bodice of her dress was dark, part of it also soaked with the amount of water that had been thrown at her.

"Calm down?!" Belle finally spoke, a shuddery breath exhaling out of her. "When you tie me to your bed? When you're about to...to..."

"I'm not about to do anything." Hook said, then gave her a small smile. "Not without you wanting and asking for it."

She huffed, the sound indignant. "I know what your game is!"

"Do tell?"

"You intend...were going to seduce me!" Her lower lip trembled, Belle ready to start panicking again.

"And what would you know of seduction?" Hook seemed more curious than anything, Belle wary as she answered.

"I read books you know." Instantly she regretted her answer, Belle realizing she should have lied and said she knew seduction at Rumplestiltskin's hands. Now Hook probably knew she was a virgin, innocent save for the racy knowledge this world's books had given her.

"And just what do these books have to say, where seduction is concerned?" Hook asked, seeming intrigued.

She started to blush, Belle averting her eyes. Hook let out a soft chuckle, Belle fighting her urge to turn at that sound.

"Well whatever dirty fantasies these books have given you, fear not. I don't intend to force myself on you."

"Then why?!" She spat out, looking at him. "Why do all this, why grab at me, why chain me down, to your bed no less?! Why..." Why kiss me, Belle wondered silently, once again looking away.

If Hook had guessed what was on her mind, he didn't say, choosing instead to answer at least one of her questions. "I chained you to my bed, because it was convenient."

"Convenient?!" She sputtered angrily.

"After all, I can't have you up and about, rifling through any more of my things. Nor can I leave you free to return to Rumple, especially not with that scarf." He leaned back on his knees, muttering more to himself than to her. "Nor I can allow you to interfere any further with my revenge against Rumplestiltskin."

Belle's eyes blazed, the woman's voice scathing as she pointed out what should be obvious to Hook. "My interference might just might be the only thing that saves your LIFE."

None of his reaction was what Belle expected, Hook not at all grateful or surprised. Instead a kind of weariness was expressed, his eyes losing their mischievous twinkle to show her that wounded look she had only briefly glimpsed before.

"And what if I don't want to be saved?"

Those words, combined with the wounded look in his eyes? It made Belle's heart pang in sympathy for the pirate.

"Why would you say that?" She asked softly. "Why would you ever want to throw your life away?"

"It hasn't been worth living in years." Was Hook's answer.

"I...I don't understand." Belle frowned. "Why would you even think that? Why would you not even try to do something to make it worthwhile again?"

"How can it be worthwhile when I saw my heart ripped out?"

Now Belle was even more confused. "What...what do you mean?"

"MIla." Hook's gaze turned even more pained.

"Rumplestiltskin's wife? The woman you..."

"The woman that I loved." Hook interjected before Belle could finish her statement with the word stole. "I suppose Rumplestiltskin hasn't told you all the gory details."

"He's told me enough." Belle said, but her words weren't spoken with confidence. "How you took her, stole her from him."

"Oh, so I stole her did I? Tell me, lass. Is it stealing when a woman begs for your kisses? When she comes crying to you, in pain over the life she is leading, the coward of a man she is tied to? When she asks to come along, and thinks no second thoughts about leaving her unwanted husband and child behind, or about abandoning her life on land to become a queen of the seas?!"

"What? What are you talking about!" frowned Belle.

"Mila." His hook was raising, Belle feeling a shiver of trepidation go through her. "She wanted me. ME!" He punctuated by banging the blunt side of his hook over his heart. "Mila loved me NOT Rumplestiltskin."

Her jaw must have dropped, Belle gaping open mouthed at Hook. He gave her a bitter smile, a fire in his eyes that spoke well of his hurt and anger.

"Come now, is it really so hard to believe that a woman could prefer me to Rumplestiltskin?"

"No. It's not hard to believe." Belle said quietly. She could see the surprise in him, Hook not having expected her to answer so honestly. "I don't know what Rumple was like before he attained the power of the Dark One...but.." Her hesitation made her sigh. "He hasn't always been easy to get along with. Those first days-weeks as his captive, were hardly what I would call fun, or even pleasant."

"He's nothing more than a monster as the Dark One."

"That's not true!" Belle protested. "I've seen the good in him!"

"Was it that good that led him to rip out and crush Mila's heart, in fit of insane jealousy?" Hook all but shouted, Belle gasping in response. Her eyes were wide, her expression horrified, and all because Hook words were stated with absolute conviction, the man in pain but absolutely honest with what he said Rumplestiltskin had done.

"He...he..."

"He didn't even hesitate." Hook said bitterly.

"He said that she had died." Belle stammered. "I had no idea..."

"Obviously." snorted Hook. "Still think there is good in him?"

"I..." The fact that she hesitated? It made Belle feel sick to her stomach, the woman realizing Hook's reveal about the horrific fate of Mila, had made her doubt Rumplestiltskin even for one second. And with that doubt, she was conflicted, Belle confused, not sure what she felt, what she believed in anymore.

"I need to go." Belle said, not really looking at Hook. She gave half hearted tugs on her restraints, knowing they wouldn't budge without assistance. "I need to...to talk with Rumplestiltskin."

"You trust yourself to be alone with that monster?!" Hook was full of disbelief.

"I don't know!" And that admittance shamed Belle most of all. "I don't know." She quietly repeated, slumping down against the pillows. She felt defeated in the moment, everything she thought she knew, turned on it's head.

Hook's eyes were on her, studying Belle far more than she liked. She couldn't begin to guess what his thoughts were, and right now she felt too drained to even make the attempt.

"No. No lass, don't." Hook finally said. "Don't let it eat at you inside, and don't shed any tears over him." His good hand cupped her cheek, his thumb brushing away the lone tear that had fallen.

"And don't shed any tears over ME." He added, still stroking her cheek with his thumb. Belle lifted her eyes, a question in them. "I've long ago made my peace with the fact that I'll die after this final confrontation with Rumplestiltskin. But if lady luck is on my side, I'll have at least taken from him his most precious possession."

"The scarf." Belle whispered. "You'll keep him from finding his son."

Hook hesitated, as though he wanted to argue that answer. But what other answer could there be? Belle couldn't figure it out, and Hook was talking once more.

"Baelfire's better off without Rumplestiltskin getting his claws into him." Hook sighed, now seeming so weary. "He's not capable of loving anyone, not without hurting them in the process."

Another tear fell, then another, until Belle was full out crying. Hook seemed uncomfortable with her tears, shifting his hand into her hair, his body next to her. It was awkward, but the pirate guided Belle to tuck her head on his shoulder, the woman unable to stop her crying. Hook wouldn't say much, beyond murmuring soothing nonsense, and never did he outright tell her everything would be okay. He and Belle both would know it for the lie it was, neither one knowing for absolute certain what would happen.

Eventually Belle's tears would dry, her quiet sobbing lessening in intensity. Hook didn't immediately try to pull away, seeming content to sit there and hold her. It was weird, but didn't feel exactly wrong, Belle liking the way he petted his good hand over her hair.

"How exactly did you lose your hand?" Belle asked, not content with the companionable silence between them.

"A crocodile bit it off."

"And that crocodile stopped with just the hand?" Belle asked amazed. She shifted enough to look up at him, Hook's expression drowsy.

"The crocodile had what it wanted...or so it thought." A curving of his lips, Hook smirking. Belle didn't understand how he could make that expression, not when talking about losing his hand. But then this wasn't the first time Hook had managed to confuse her.

"Can..." Hook looked close to falling asleep, his eyelids half closed. "Can you remove the restraints? They're rather uncomfortable."

"I'm sleepy not stupid." Hook answered, smiling even more.

"Why would I try to trick you?" Belle asked in protest. "Why would I leave?"

"Why would you stay?" countered Hook.

"I...because I wouldn't know what to say, what to do if I had to face Rumplestiltskin right now!"

"An honest enough answer. But the cuffs stay on." Hook insisted. Belle let out a loud, exasperated sigh. "And no use pouting. I am immune to such things."

But not to a woman's tears, Belle privately noted. She settled against him, her sigh quieter this time. But she was too alert to sleep just yet, Belle asking another question.

"Just what IS your real name?"

"Hook."

"That can't be right." Belle protested. "You had to have had a name before that crocodile incident."

"Killian." Hook grudgingly admitted. "My mother named me Killian. But I ceased to be him long ago..."

"Killian..." She repeated slowly. "A fine, handsome name."

"Just don't go bandying it about. I answer to Hook now."

"And what was Killian like before he became a pirate?" When she didn't get an answer, Belle shifted once more. Looking at Hook, who had both eyes closed. She couldn't tell if he had really fallen asleep, or if he was just pretending to in order to avoid answering her latest question. But Belle had a feeling any answer Hook could have given her, would have been a complex one. Pirate or no, Hook was a complicated man, with facets that were intriguing, and many of them unexplored. He was almost like a good book, and he was one Belle would have enjoyed reading cover to cover.

She settled back in place, ready to let herself be lulled into sleep, when a stray thought entered her mind. Why DID Hook have restraints attached to the headboard of his bed? And how often did he make use of them? And with whom? The possible answers would keep her wide awake for at least another hour, Belle's thoughts taking a wicked turn as she imagined all the possible ways and uses Hook could have for them.

To Be Continued...

It drives me freaking nuts that I haven't been able to make this chapter any longer. But length issues aside, I rather like how it came out!

-Michelle

K-Milah, oh thank you! That absolutely thrills me to hear! Both the born to write this pairing, and the fact I got you anxiously and anticipating for future chapters. :D Whoo hoo!


	3. Chapter 3

It was a series of firsts for Hook, waking up with Belle cuddled against him. She was the first woman to share his bed without him first rutting inside her. The first woman in which he had done little more than steal a few kisses from, Hook finding he had actually enjoyed talking with Belle. It had been a long time since he had wanted to do that with a woman, Hook far more interested in what was between their legs than what was in their heads. Especially once Mila has passed. With the death-murder of his beloved pirate queen, Hook hadn't had much use for women, save for the desire they stoked within him.

Hook knew what he looked like. Knew he fit the tall, dark and handsome type that so many women dreamed about. More than one woman had let her panties drop at the sight of him, and those that had proved more difficult, had let Hook's tongue do the charming.

He knew how to talk, how to flirt and charm women. But it wasn't often he found himself truly holding a conversation with one. Oh there was Cora, but then she wasn't just a woman. She was an evil queen in her own right, and decidedly uninterested in Hook as a man. If he was the self analyzing type, Hook would decide that made Cora safe to be around. Safe because she did nothing to jeopardize the feelings he still had for Mila. Hook neither wanted to forget, nor get over the love and the subsequent grief his relationship with Mila has caused him. It's why he viewed most women as nothing more than things, warm bodies meant to sate his own lusts and needs upon.

Belle was dangerously close to being more than a warm body. He was recognizing that she was a person, that she was more than someone to have sex with, or a tool to be used in his revenge against Mila's murderer. She had feelings of her own, though she had been woefully misguided where Rumplestiltskin and the issue of his so called goodness was concerned. But Hook was well on the way to correcting Belle's vision of that monster. Not that he had actually set out to do that. At least not consciously. But perhaps, some self persevering part of him, had wanted her to know. Had wanted someone who would still live, to know the wretched truth of the story of Hook, Mila and Rumplestiltskin.

Hook knew that once he died, that wretched crocodile Rumplestiltskin would never again THINK of him or Mila, let alone speak the truth of what had happened that fateful day. The world would go on believing his lies, thinking Rumplestiltskin the only victim in this story. But now Belle knew, and she would remember, the story perhaps serving as a cautionary tale. One whose message was clear. Stay away from Rumplestiltskin, and his own twisted, grasping idea of love.

Hook honestly hadn't started off with the intent to warn Belle away from Rumplestiltskin. He had been too consumed with his need for revenge, to worry about anyone else ending up as collateral damage. He had just wanted his revenge, and the fact that he could keep Mila's son safe, and far away from Rumplestiltskin as a result was mere icing on the cake.

But now things were getting complicated, his feelings and motives twisting. Oh he wasn't in love with Belle, but he sorta liked the girl. To the point Hook was wondering how he was going to fix things so that she didn't actually get caught and killed in the crossfire of his confrontation with Rumplestiltskin.

"I'm becoming soft." grumbled Hook under his breath. Belle made a sound, but didn't actually awaken. Right now he preferred it that way, not wanting to deal with her questions and earnest curiosity about him and his past. To Hook, the only true past worth reliving was his time with Mila, and memories of her, even the happy ones, were painful to reflect upon.

He spent too much time thinking, if not about Mila, then about getting his revenge on her murderer. Even when he slept, Hook couldn't escape his obsessions, the man almost always haunted by dreams. Rare was the time his sleep was undisturbed by nightmares, and Hook was startled to realize that this time with Belle snuggled against him, had been one of them.

Wonders of wonders, she really was having an effect on him. Which really meant he should put distance between them and fast. Otherwise he really would get confused, and start wishing for things he had turned his back on.

Belle made a protesting noise when Hook attempted to shift away from her. She actually tried to follow after him, her restraints stopping her short of succeeding.

Already he missed the warmth of her against him, Hook sitting back on his knees. Studying Belles' sleeping face quietly. She really was beautiful, even more than Mila had been. She was as brave as Mila too, Belle had to be to have not only come sneaking onto a pirate's ship, but into his very bedroom as well.

He knew Belle read books, and that spoke that she was educated. Mila had barely been able to read and write, but what she lack in education she had made up for in cunning and street smarts.

Hook didn't think Belle was much of a fighter. Not like Mila, who had thrived as a pirate queen, swinging her sword and laughing in the face of most danger. And unlike Belle, Mila wouldn't have fallen for his tricks, wouldn't have allowed Hook to distract her with kisses. If Belle had been exactly like Mila, she never would have been caught and cuffed in the first place.

But Hook didn't want another Mila. He liked that Belle was different from her, beautifully unique in her own way. And then the pirate frowned, grumbling again to himself as he wondered what was wrong with him. He didn't want another woman period, aside from the times he wanted to get rip roaring drunk and fuck until he was raw. He didn't want to, shouldn't be noticing any of Belles' fine and likeable qualities. He either needed to get further away from her, or actually have filthy, messy, degrading sex with her. Either one would work to shatter any delusions his mind was harboring, Hook wanting no future with a woman who wasn't his Mila.

"Hook...?" Belle's sleepy voice murmured, her eyelids trembling a moment before opening fully. He felt pinned by her gaze, Hook mustering up a venomous glare of his own to combat the burgeoning like he was developing for her.

"Hook?" Belle repeated, growing more alert in response to the poison filled look he shot her. Hook could see she didn't understand, and he almost felt bad for her confusion. But he was more concerned with preserving the hollow ache that had once been his heart, in maintaining that his love for Mila remain as strong as ever, and not recede into being just a memory.

"What's wrong?" Belle asked, starting to look around. "Is it Rumplestiltskin? Is he here?"

"No, he's not."

"Then..." A slight hesitation. "Why are you looking like that?"

Hook couldn't, wouldn't explain to Belle, that that venom fueled glare was his attempt at defense. A last ditch effort to widen a chasm between them.

"Are you angry with me?" She asked in a small voice, her eyes looking worried. "Have I done something? Did I pry too much earlier? Talk to me, please!" She added, her voice holding a note of begging to it. "I can't fix anything if you don't tell me what's wrong."

"There is nothing to fix." Hook said at last, his voice hissing out of him.

"But I thought..."

"Whatever you thought, princess? It was WRONG." Hook told her. "This..thing between you and I? It's NOT happening."

Her expression turned more troubled than he had ever seen it, and that was saying a lot, considering Hook had watched her near hyperventilate a few hours earlier.

"You're doing this because of Rumplestiltskin." She finally said. "Because you fear..."

"I don't fear him!" Hook's roar had Belle flinching. "He can no longer hurt me, he hasn't been able to since the day he ripped out Mila's heart, and crushed it right before me!" He let out a bitter sound, a mix that was half sob half laugh.

"Killian..."

In an instant he was before her, hand and hook on either side of her shoulders. "Killian DIED that day with Mila. Only Hook and his revenge remain." Hook waited, a shiver with anticipation of what Belle would say to that.

"I..." Her chin raised stubbornly, Belle locking eyes with him. "I need to go to the bathroom."

It was the last thing he had been expecting, Belle neither troubled nor ready to feed into the pity party Hook was currently throwing for himself.

"All right." Hook exhaled slowly, but none of his self anger, or his tortured feelings left him. "That I can allow." Her eyes annoyed, her glare was almost withering. "But don't get any ideas about trying to escape..."

"Perish the thought." She muttered, and once her hands were free, set about to rubbing her raw red wrists. Hook felt bad to see them, even though he knew it was Belle's own fault they were in that condition.

Getting off the bed together, Hook kept his hand on her arm. Belle merely rolled her eyes at that, as though thinking he was being overcautious. But she didn't try to pull away, allowing him to guide her to the bathroom.

"There should be some healing ointment in the chest." Hook gruffly stated. "You can put that on your wrists."

"A little privacy please?" Belle asked, her own tone cold and haughty.

Hook left without saying a word, but not before making sure to lock the door behind him. He heard a thump follow the clicking of the lock, the pirate sure the woman had knocked her fist in anger on the door. The thought of Belle throwing a tantrum, nearly coaxed a smile from him, and then Hook was shaking his head in an attempt to free himself of that reaction.

"Need to cool off." Hook muttered. And with Belle currently occupying his bathroom, there was few options left to him. He'd have to settle for going topside, and hope the chill weather worked it's wonders on him. Otherwise his next act would be to plunge head first into Storybrooke Habor's cold waters.

He paused long enough to grab his portable telescope, then made as much noise as possible, stalking away. He didn't care what Belle thought of his leaving, and he was secure in the knowledge that with the door locked, she had no way to escape. After all, it's not like she would be fool enough to try and squeeze through the bathroom's small porthole window.

The thought of her attempting such a thing, actually made Hook chuckle. With curves like Belle's, she'd have a heck of a time trying to fit. There was no way the window would accommodate her, the porthole only big enough to perhaps slide a child through.

Hook shouldn't have underestimated Belle's determination, the woman trying to do the impossible. Of course she got stuck halfway through, the woman dangling from both side of the porthole. Hook actually heard her yelling for help, Belle banging her hands on the side of his ship. Hook would thank his luck that Cora had seen fit to not only gift him with the ship's invisibility, but also it's sound proofing.

Topside not more than a few minutes, Hook waited another five, before leaning over one side of the ship. "Are we having a problem, lass?"

Belle had the grace to look embarrassedly, sheepishly admitting it. "I'm...I'm stuck."

"So I see."

Belle didn't like his calm manner, glaring up at him, as she banged her fists harder on his ship. "Well?" She demanded. "Aren't you going to do something?!"

"Hmmm...I thought it might save me some trouble." replied Hook, somehow maintaining a straight face. "It would solve the problem of you trying to run away, and it would free up space in my bed."

"Space to do what?!" Belle demanded, than shook her head. "Never mind!" She groused. "I do not want to know. HEY!" She cried, when Hook stopped leaning over the side. "You're not really going to leave me like this, are you?"

"It's tempting." He told her, leaning back over.

"It's inhumane! Prisoners have rights too!"

"Do they?" A skeptical Hook asked.

"Well...well they should!" She waited, then panicked when Hook disappeared from her line of sight. "Please...I...I am sorry, okay?! I really am..."

"And you promise never to do something like this again?" Silence greeted, Hook surprised Belle had to think about her answer. "Belle?"

"Fine. I promise! Now get me out of here!"

"I'll be there in a moment. Until then, don't go anywhere." He was honestly chuckling in response to Belles' exaggerated groan.

"As if I could." He heard her mutter, and then Hook was heading inside the ship. He didn't exactly hurry, Hook's pace downright leisurely. He imagined it would add to Belle's annoyance, might even make her lose that nice disposition of hers. Certainly Hook thought it would be easier to NOT like her, if they were both angry and snarling at each other.

He had completely forgotten one thing. The arresting sight that would be waiting for him inside the bathroom. If Hook thought Belle's shapely posterior was worth admiring when sticking out from underneath his bed, it was worth worshipping when framed by the porthole, her skirt having ridden up high enough on Belle, that Hook could make out the lace of her panties.

He couldn't do anything but stare, mesmerized by the way the white lace lovingly molded to the curvaceous contours of Belle's ass. And the fact that her panties, while surely decent for this world, were scandalously indecent for the realm Hook originated from. Mila, hell none of the women Hook had been with, had worn panties like these!

It really wasn't fair, Hook decided. The fates were out to get him. To tempt him with such a sight, to make him lust after such a luscious piece And as much as he enjoyed the back view, Hook was starting to wonder how the panties looked covering Belle's front. Did he even stand a chance at resisting finding out? And how was he supposed to survive touching her long enough to get her free of the porthole?

For that matter, how long could he go on living without actually touching her, or at least touching the lace of those all too fetching panties? It was quite the dilemma Hook faced, and one that had him adjusting the fit of his pants several times. Not that he got much relief that way, his dick rock hard and throbbing. Belle was driving him insane, and what little reason he had left, was about to go out the window, should he actually lay hands on her.

At least a dozen wicked fantasies took root in his head. All of them centered on pleasuring Belle while she remained trapped in that porthole. One particularly vivid fantasy, was of Hook dropping to his knees, taking hold of Belle's dangling legs and spreading them. He'd then put his mouth to her sex, licking Belle through her panties, until them and she were positively drenched.

That fantasy was about to become a reality, Hook stepping towards Belle.

To Be Continued...

I am having way too much fun with this one...XD

-Michelle

Tiiulicious, thank you! Wow, what a nice review. I'm grinning! Especially over the part about getting them right. I had been worried I wasn't. So that made me real happy to hear! I will continue to try my best, so I hope you'll enjoy the newest chapters! Thanks again!


	4. Chapter 4

Honestly it had seemed like a good idea at the time. The porthole had just been there, not even properly latched close. It couldn't have been a more obvious escape route, then if someone had placed a blazing neon sign pointing to it. How was Belle to resist doing anything but trying to climb out of it?

Sure the plan was not without it's faults. She didn't have Bae's scarf in her possession, and the porthole opened up not on the side of the pier, but over the harbor's waters. The waters were chilly this time of year, but Belle had been prepared to endure it. It wasn't like she would have had a long swim, and Belle had been sure she could get away before Hook even heard the splash she'd have made.

Apparently her excitement had made her misjudge the size of the porthole. Sure it had looked smaller than would fit her comfortably, but Belle had been certain if she just sucked in her breath, she would fit through. And it had seemed to work, or at least it had been working, until it came time to wiggle her posterior through. Belle had never thought of her bottom as large, not until the moment it became all too clear that no amount of struggling, wiggling, and holding her breath, would allow her to pass all the way through.

Left with no choice but to face the mortifying facts, Belle had ended up kicking up a fuss, banging her hands on the side of the ship. She didn't know if anyone but Hook could hear, and she wasn't putting it past him to have safeguard the ship from projecting any sounds. After all, what was the point in making the ship invisible, if noise could betray it's location?

But still, she had to try. If not to get Hook's attention, then to maybe get someone at the pier to notice. The latter hadn't seemed to have worked, and Belle had not only gotten Hook to notice her, but he had seemed barely able to hold in his laughter. It just made an already humiliating situation even more so, Belle's face turning red as she hung there.

Hook had eventually agreed to come free her. It was irksome that she had had to work for that agreement, Belle ready to give Hook a piece of her mind. AFTER she was free of the porthole.

She huffed in impatience, not having failed to notice Hook was taking his sweet time in coming to her rescue. Belle once again began struggling, trying to go back, trying to pull forward. Planting her hands on the side of the ship for leverage, trying to move in whatever direction she could, and getting no results. Except, wait yes, she was sure now her skirt had moved. She wiggled her hips, trying, hoping, the movement would make the hem fall back down. But there seemed to be some static cling issues happening, and the more she moved, the higher her skirt hiked.

This situation just got better and better, Belle thought sarcastically. Now not only was she stuck, but her bottom was exposed! Of course she had on a modest pair of panties, but a lady didn't go around flashing strange men with her undergarments. Of course most ladies wouldn't have experienced a situation like this, and just what was taking that pirate so long?!

Stuck inside the porthole, Belle sighed. Never in her wildest dreams had she imagined she'd be eager for Hook to come put his hands on her. Of course the whole situation was supposed to be relatively innocent, Hook touching her only to free her. But the pirate was anything but innocent, and oh dear her imagination was about to run wild again, because Belle thought she had felt something.

That couldn't be him breathing on her, could it? Surely that was just an unexpected draft of warm air. But her skin prickled in unease, Belle wiggling once more. Then went absolutely still, because she had brushed something that hadn't been behind her when she had first tried to fit through the porthole.

She wasn't sure what that something had been, didn't want to even try to guess. Her mind didn't need much of anything, to go racing off to the land of the wicked, and that was before Hook laid a hand on her.

Palm down, he blatantly curved his hand over the contours of one cheek. Belle gasped at the audacity, knowing that kind of touch had nothing to do with freeing her. Nor did tracing the edge of her panties with his fingers accomplish it. And certainly nothing would get done if he took the time to stroke over every rose and curlicue pattern on the lace of her underwear. Even if that sort of touching felt rather nice.

Actually more than nice. Even if what he was doing was worrisome, and was that the cold metal of his hook at the side of her panties?! That's when Belle's mind took a spastic turn, a naughty what if playing out before her eyes. He was going to use that hook to decimate the sides, exposing her bottom completely. He wouldn't stop then, he wouldn't want to! Hook would fit himself behind her, an idle thought having Belle wonder if he would even bother to remove his leathers first, and feed himself inch by inch into her. She'd lose her virginity not only to the pirate, but while stuck dangling inside a bathroom porthole!

"No!" She cried out, and she started thrashing about wildly. Her hands banged on the side of the ship, and Belle began kicking out with her legs. Trying to score a direct hit on any part of Hook she could reach. It might have been futile, but Belle wanted Hook to know she wasn't about to go down without a fight!

His hand all but slapped down on her hip, Hook gripping her there. His hook was still at the side to her panties, but they hadn't been shredded yet. Belle was confused as to his delay, and then even more so when she felt him tug, her bottom coming into contact with his groin. Not exactly experienced with men's arousals, she still had a pretty good idea what that hard thing was, that fit so snugly against her. It didn't matter that it was still encased by his leathers, Belle was a wild thing, fighting all the way as he pulled her out of the porthole, and into his arms.

"Calm down you little hellion!" Hook was saying, his lips next to her ear. Belle didn't even think to pull down her skirt, fighting until she got just enough leeway, to twist and face him. It was distracting to have him right there, Hook still holding her, his hand and his hook on her hips.

Worse yet was how close their faces were to each other, their breaths mingling as Belle's eyes were drawn to look at Hook's sensual mouth. It was distracting, bringing to mind the times he had kissed her. That alone had been woefully inappropriate, but whatever he had been trying to do to her just now, was even more so.

Belle opened her mouth, ready to let loose with just how mad she was at him. The words didn't get voiced, Hook's tongue licking over his lip, the man outright announcing his intentions towards her.

"I'm going to kiss you now." His voice was a low spoken purr, as sexy as it was dangerous sounding. But Belle didn't feel menaced by him, even as he spoke with a certainty, words that could be misconstrued as a threat. "And you're not going to fight me on this."

She should have been indignant, should have mustered up something more angry than the weak sounding protest she made of his name.

"Hook..."

Her eyes lifted to his, but his mouth was already covering hers. And it felt too good to even want to resist, Belle all but melting against him.

Had she thought him a good kisser before? This one was something else, Hook determined. She realized now that before he had been more interested in teasing her, in distracting her. That he hadn't been half as serious about kissing her as he was now. It was the kind of kissing, that was a prelude to something more, Hook clearly wanting and full of need. Did it have to do with the fact he was so obviously aroused? Or was there something more going on, Hook needing her in a way that had nothing to do with the fact he had seen and touched her panties?

Maybe she was reading too much into his actions. Maybe it really was that simple, Hook a man that was easily fueled by his lusts. Maybe any woman would do in the moment, and this had nothing to do with any attraction he might feel for her, or Belle for him. But, and this surprised Belle, she didn't want to believe it. Didn't want to believe Hook would use her as convenient outlet for the releasing of his lusts. After all, did a man who wanted nothing but a whore, kiss one like this? With such a raw depth of need and feeling? Belle wanted to believe the answer was no, that he wouldn't kiss just anyone with such desperation and desire.

Though she was conflicted, sure it was inappropriate, she had been kissing him back. And now she threw her arms around him, locking fingers into his dark colored hair. Hook made a rough sound at that, a pure animalistic groan, as though he had been waiting for her capitulation and had gotten it with that touch. His hand moved, groping her behind, and this time Belle didn't mind, her heart racing with excitement.

Kisses were truly powerful. Belle had known that, the world she and Hook had come from, full of stories that spoke of just how powerful they could be. Kisses had been known to break curses, to combat the dark magics, but little had been said about how sweet and satisfying kissing could also be!

So was touching for that matter, Belle marveling at the silk soft texture of Hook's hair. Her other hand was rubbing up and down his back, feeling the leather warmed by his body against her skin. How much she wanted to touch him directly, to feel the heat from his skin, to feel his muscles as they bunched under her nails.

Her panties tore under his hook at the same exact moment he bumped her back against a wall. He nibbled her bottom lip a moment more, looked her straight in the eyes, then shifted his hand, curving it under her, to help her hitch that leg around him. Panting softly, Belle felt the arousal that bulged in his pants, pressed right between her spread legs. A bit of sane rational came to her, Belle readying a protest, feeling this wasn't something they should be doing. Kissing had already been taking things too far, and now here she was, bared below the waist, with her torn panties dangling from his silver hook.

But goodness, it felt too good to want to stop. How was she supposed to resist, when he was kissing her again. When he was putting his mouth to the front of her throat, sucking on the skin there, and making new sensations course through her? Belle moved, the slightest of wiggles that had her rubbing against the erection tenting Hook's pants.

Hook made that fierce sound, bucking against her in a way that felt amazing. Sensations Belle had NEVER felt before, spiked through her, a ticklish, tingling need centering in her womanly parts, Belle wiggling again to keep that weirdly pleasant feeling from stopping.

"Belle..." Hook groaned against her flesh. He had his mouth burying in the crook of her shoulder, teeth grazing the skin there. Her hands were clutching at his back, holding him as though she feared he would pull away any second.

She needn't have worried. With the fingers of his good hand digging into her behind, Hook began to seriously move his hips. Rubbing and grinding against her, Belle gasping and moaning. Lifting her other leg up, to lock around him, her body supported only by his hand and the wall against her back. She was getting thoroughly soaked between her legs, her body dampening itself in preparation for him.

"Hook..." His named hissed out of her, a whimpery whine sounding in his ear. Belle could hear him muttering things, but the words didn't make much sense of what she could hear. She tugged on his hair, and when he lifted up to look at her, it was Belle that kissed him, crying out into his mouth.

The friction generating between them was unbelievable. Unbearable. It was making Belle greedy, desperate for more, for something, anything to make her feel even better. Hook seemed to know just where to grind, the leather and his arousal, rubbing over the bundle of nerves that were the source of a woman's most potent pleasure.

Moaning more and more, actually whining against Hook's lips, Belle grew frantic, even as tension coiled within her. Her whole body was wound up, toes curling in her shoes, her nipples two tight peaks that actually ached. She felt like she was on fire, and Belle knew, just knew, she was seconds away from achieving something great.

She wasn't thinking about Rumplestiltskin in the moment. She wasn't thinking much about anything, except Hook and what he was doing, what he was making her experience. The scream started to build in her, coming from deep within, Belle about to climax for the first time when a loud crash of sound was heard.

The sound SCARED her right out of the climax she had been so close to getting. Hook jerked back as best he could, a vicious and absolutely vile curse issuing out of him. Belle was wide eyed, frightened and feeling guilty, but also aching with need. She still clung to Hook, her arms and legs wrapped around him. And Hook still held onto her behind. His blue eyes which had been dazed, were rapidly becoming alert, annoyance the chief emotion in him as the sound started again.

"Is that..." Belle couldn't finish her sentence, her heart beating rapidly.

Hook cursed again, and somehow made quick work of untangling himself from Belle. She stumbled, her legs weak from what had just been happening, but Belle refused to reach out to Hook for the support she needed. She was frightened, and this close to crying, her emotions and conflicted feelings for just about everything making for quite the upset.

It was her own inner turmoil, that left Belle in a self absorbed daze, the woman not fighting as Hook took her by the arm, and led her to his bed. The cuffs' manacles were locked in place around her wrists, Belle once again tied down. In the moment she didn't care, trying her hardest not to break down and cry until after Hook left the room.

When the noise sounded a third time, Hook couldn't hurry fast enough away from her. The door to the bedroom slammed shut behind him, and seconds later she heard a loud thump. It sounded two more times before she heard Hook stomping nosily away. Her tears were already falling, Belle sniffling, giving in to the sick feeling inside her. She was so damn confused about everything, wondering what was wrong with her to have every allowed things to go as far as they had.

Her body didn't seem to care, aching and demanding satisfaction. It just upset her more, Belle wondering why her body, her thoughts, even her heart seemed to be confused about what she wanted. Logically, Hook WAS the enemy. She shouldn't be feeling anything for him, let alone desire and attraction. Nor should Belle be allowing him to take so many of her first experiences, or letting herself enjoy it so much. She was doing things with Hook that should have been reserved for Rumplestiltskin, and yet...the sad, awful truth was that she was no longer even half interested in pursuing that kind of relationship with the other man. Not now, not after hearing about Mila, and the way Rumplestiltskin had murdered her.

Belle hadn't known the heart could be so fickle. Hadn't known how quickly it could be turned away, especially when it hadn't gotten enough of the love and affection needed to nurture a healthy relationship. But Rumplestiltskin hadn't been willing to put in the effort needed, more concerned with the fact that Belle's kiss had had the power to break his curse. It should have been something Rumplestiltskin would have wanted, but the sad fact was the man had valued power and magic more than any loving expression Belle had wanted to show him.

Was it as simple as the fact Belle was starved for affection, and growing tired of a man who could never kiss her? A man who would always put love second, where his own ambitions and powers were concerned? But was Hook any better, when he was still locked in that place of grief, suffering, grieving a woman dead already for how many years?

Belle was beginning to think she made poor choices when it came to love and attraction. Falling for not one, but two who were emotionally unobtainable. Her sobs stifled on a gasp, Belle shocked. Had she just thought, even briefly, that Hook was someone she was falling for? Belle quickly shook her head no, trying to deny it. Trying to insist she was just getting confused, the line between love and sexual desire becoming blurred by Hook's actions. She was after all, an inexperienced woman, unused to the kind of things Hook had been doing to her and with her. She couldn't, wouldn't make the mistake that so many other young women make, confusing sex with love. So how come it felt like her heart was breaking, Belle crying harder.

To Be Continued...

Still having way too much fun...XD

Ah...hope no one is too disappointed over the porthole part. I wanted Belle and Hook in this tale, to not end up being non con...or even hopefully not too dubious consent. Which is why I didn't have him do more when she was stuck in that window porthole. It probably depends on how you view things, if kissing her until she was only all too willing and eager to do more, if it counts as dub con or not. X_X Ay yi yi...I still had too much fun writing this! XD

Somehow I couldn't work in a mention that Hook had taken the time to pull down her skirt, before leaving her chained up. I also had wanted to put a mention of Belle realizing he had left with her panties still dangling on his hook! XD

Ah well, onwards and upwards!

-Michelle

Tiiulicious, aw I'm blushing. Happily! :D I'm so amazed and grateful for all the feedback and support I've been getting for my writing attempts with these two! And so excited to hear I'm getting them right! Whoo hoo! I'm also glad to hear I'm conveying so many different kinds of emotions for the readers, when writing the different beats for Hook and Belle in this story. Intrigued to check out the story you mentioned you're working on. Will try to do that now!

Kendra Lueher, thanks! Will look forward to any comments you might have after you play catch up. Glad you checked out the first chapter, and found it to your liking. :D

A Fan Of Yours, thank you so much! I will have to think about the story request., I mean on how to work the angles of it. Unless you don't mind doing a little brainstorming right now? Cause I am trying to think how to manage your idea...I mean does she get shot, but she doesn't fall over the line? So she doesn't lose her memories? That will make it a little tricky, but I sorta think I might be able to work something out...not one hundred percent sure though, but imagining Belle insists on seeing her attacker at the hospital, much to Rumplestiltskin's displeasure. And then Hook's pain and anger, somehow make her intrigued in finding out more. Hmm...I know...it could be they have some kind of interaction on his ship like in the episode...and then a little later in the fic, a shooting happens. Like Hook could be all, "You saved me (got rumple not to beat him to death) so I was going to save you." Course Belle wouldn't be pleased with the methods he employed to attempt that saving! Still got to think about this more, but any feedback, ideas you might have, feel free to send them my way!

K-Milah, aw...sorry, sorry...I'll blame it partly on, as I was getting near the end of the chapter, I was getting sleepy. I actually attempted to write a few more lines, but they weren't going like I wanted, and then I decided it was a good ending point for the chapter. Plus I wanted to get Belle's thoughts into this moment as well. Next chapter will be back to Hook's thoughts though!

And thank you! Pleased to hear that! Chapter three, as much fun as I had writing it, after I posted it, I started letting silly doubts make me worry. I'm glad that so far, no one thought the porthole thing was stupid! Phew!


	5. Chapter 5

The cricket's timing couldn't have been worse, the loud crash of sounds Hook's OTHER captive was making, jarring the pirate out of whatever panty inspired, lust fueled, desire driven haze had been stealing away all his sane and rational thought. Because he hadn't been thinking, at least not in the way he should, Hook lost in the moment, lost in the touch, the feel, the taste of Belle and those enchanting panties.

In that moment, he hadn't been thinking of Mila. Hadn't been imagining Belle as the woman he had lost. He hadn't been drunk, and he hadn't been using Belle as a substitute for his dead lover. He had wanted Belle, not for revenge, or for a quick fuck, but because he was attracted to the woman. Because he wanted and LIKED her.

It was all wrong, Hook feeling a surge of guilt. For all the women he had been with over the years, never had Hook felt like he had been cheating on Mila. Never until just now, Hook totally focused on Belle, on making her feel good with him. He had been completely unfaithful just now, to Mila and her memory. And his guilty feelings were worsening, cause Hook was pretty sure unless something drastic was done, he'd do a lot worse with Belle's eager assistance.

Suddenly the cricket's interruption didn't feel like a bad thing. He could almost be grateful to the man, if not for the fact that Hook and Belle had both been blue balled something fierce. It made Hook's mood NASTY, the man practically dragging an unresisting Belle to his bed. Hook would pause long enough to tug down her skirt, then hate himself for showing her even that much care and respect. Because it was just another sign of how far Hook had fallen, the pirate actually respecting Belle as a person.

That respect wouldn't stop him from leaving with her panties. From claiming them as his private treasure, Hook waiting until he was on the other side of the bedroom door to touch them. To brush the lace over his lips, much in the way he wanted to brush parts of Belle there instead.

And then his hand was crushing the panties in his fist, Hook's arm tensing in preparation for some violent action. He couldn't bring himself to throw them on the floor, Hook instead angrily punching the wall three times in an attempt to get back to a sane way of thinking. All that he had really accomplished was a numb hand, the skin over his knuckles scratched raw from the impacts.

Savagely, Hook would shove the panties into his coat's pocket, then stomp away as loud and as angry as he could manage. The cricket continued to make noise, apparently unconvinced of just how nasty a pirate like Hook could be.

Fighting the temptation to kick in the door to the room where Doctor Hopper was being confined, Hook still managed to radiate with his displeasure. Hopper immediately cringed back, looking like he was regretting the fact that he had made so much noise. Hook didn't even bother to look and see just what Hopper had managed to knock over, stomping his way over to where the cricket sat bound.

"What the hell is your problem?!" Hook growled out, a hand going to Hopper's throat. The man gasped, finding the silver tip of the pirate's hook hovering just over his bruised cheek. "Better make it a good answer too."

The cricket shook terribly, the man stammering several times before he finally managed to say something. "I...I need to go to the bathroom?"

"That's IT?!" An exasperated Hook exclaimed. "That's the reason for all your fuss?!"

"I have to go really badly..." Hopper whispered.

Hook stared at him a long moment, before lowering his hand. "Well you're in luck. I'm feeling particular magnanimous, considering you just did me a favor. So I'll let you use the facilities, though I won't be untying your hands."

"Th...thank you." Hopper said, looking relieved. He didn't even try to put up a fight, as Hook double checked the cuffs around the cricket's wrists, and freed the manacles' length of chain from the wall. Hopper would cringe and stumble as Hook dragged him to the only other bathroom on his ship, and this time he would stand guard. All to make sure the cricket didn't try for a foolish escape like the one Belle had.

After, when Hopper's chain leash was one again fastened to the wall, the man would speak to Hook. "You...you said I did you a favor...what was it?"

"That's none of your business." Hook snapped, and made a move towards the door.

"I'm sure it's probably not...but anyone can see, you're in a bad mood."

"I'm ALWAYS in a bad mood." Hook grumbled, almost out the room.

"Well then, a worse mood than the usual bad one." Hopper spoke quickly. "Please...talk to me...maybe I can help you!"

"You help me?!" Hook snickered. "Don't be absurd. You're only reason for being here is to chirp out the information I need about Rumplestiltskin and his weaknesses."

"You're making a mistake Hook. Rumplestiltskin has no real weakness." Hopper shook his head, his chains rattling as he tried to stand. "If you follow this course of action, you'll end up nothing but dead."

"I'm already a dead man." Hook told him, tone and face devoid of feeling. "This situation with Rumplestiltskin will just make my body match my insides."

"You're not without feeling." Hopper insisted. "You're not dead on the inside...you hurt too much."

"What do you know of my pain?!" Hook demanded, menace in his expression as he stalked back towards Hopper. "What do you know of anything about life, or love? You're a fucking cricket that's pretending to know better!"

"Maybe I don't know better." Hopper's tone was quiet, the man shaking but not sitting back down. "But I do notice things...such as the fact you have a woman's perfume all over you, not to mention the erection you had been sporting earlier."

"I liked you better when you were too scared to talk to me." Hook complained with a growl.

"What's going on? Who is she? Is it this woman that's the cause for your anger? Talk to me Hook, let me help you sort things out..."

For a moment Hook was tempted, thinking perhaps this man could help him sort out his feelings for Belle and the guilt that they were making him feel. But then Hook remembered WHAT he was talking to, a damn personification of a conscience!

"Is this your round about way of trying to trick me into doing the right thing?" Hook demanded. "Well I don't want or need a conscience. And I definitely don't need you interfering in my relationships!"

"Hook, wait...!"

But Hook was already out the room, slamming the door shut behind him. He could still hear Hopper shouting, but as far as Hook was concerned, the cricket could scream himself hoarse. Him AND Belle, Hook deciding the woman was far too dangerous to return to.

Stomping away from the cricket's prison, Hook went topside. Maybe the fresh air would help calm him, help Hook clear his mind of the thoughts that troubled him, so that the pirate could regain his focus. His one true motivation for everything he did. But revenge on Rumplestiltskin hadn't been on Hook's mind, when he was kissing Belle in the bathroom. Hell, he hadn't even remember the crocodile still lived, too focused on the moment at hand, the feel of Belle against him, and how good she tasted.

Hook had been feeling more than just sexual sensations, that hollow ache where his heart once beat actually receding, warming to Belle. Hook hadn't felt the bleakness that always clung to him, the all consuming grief that persisted in plaguing him. For one moment he had been free, memories of Mila and the pain they caused him, just gone.

There had been magic between them, Belle a soothing presence that fired him up with wants and needs. She made him live in the moment, took him out of the past that he was so trapped in. Hook felt things when he was with Belle, and if he let it, hope and the wish for more might build in him.

He'd be betraying Mila though, to try and seize a future. Let alone a future with Belle. Hook scoffed then, wondering how he could get so far ahead of himself. Wishing for a future with Belle when they had done little more than kiss and rub in a frenetic frenzy? When she belonged to Rumplestiltskin, a monster who had already proven he was willing to kill to keep his possessions?! It was impossible, the way only leading to more pain and grief, Hook unprepared to lose another woman in that way.

He had no future. Hook had accepted that not long after Mila's death. The decision to go after Rumplestiltskin only sealed it, Hook knowing no matter what he did, no matter what he tried to take from or do to that monster, it would end with Hook dead.

The fact that he would die? Ordinarily it didn't bother him. It certainly didn't lead him into a bout of depression, Hook heading over to one of his handy stashes of rum and booze. He'd sink his hook into the rum bottle's cork, effectively ripping it out with a loud pop of sound. And then he'd proceeded to get thoroughly soused, the deck of his ship becoming littered with the smashed remains of empty rum bottles. Hook himself was slumped on the ground, back leaning against the ship's railing, a fresh bottle in hand.

He wasn't a happy drunk. He sat and stewed in his hatred and anger, muttering curses under his breath one moment, then screaming out challenges to his hated enemy. Goading the crocodile to come and finish things between them. And then he was upright, in a tizzy, attacking the mast of the ship with his hook, then smashing barrels, and flinging their wooden bits off the side of the ship. Screaming, laughing hysterically, until he worked himself up to a lather, Hook reaching into his pocket for a cloth to wipe off his sweating face.

He froze when he realized what was clutched in his hand. The panties he had taken from Belle, the lace white fabric just as titillating now as they had been before. His hand actually started to shake, SHAKE, Hook raising the panties to his face. Inhaling deeply, kissing the lace. Remembering Belle, and how it had felt to touch her while she wore this lace garment.

Even better had been the moment when his hook had torn the sides open, Belle's bottom bared to him. Hook wished now that he had taken a real look at her, but at the time kissing had felt so good, that he hadn't thought to pull back for even a quick peek. Let alone the full out examination he now wanted to do, Hook wanting to know every spot on Belle's body, and her his.

He didn't even know what her breasts look liked. What color her nipples were. He bet they were sweet though, like ripe berries. He wished she was before him now, so that he could confirm the taste. And not just of her nipples, Hook wanting to know everywhere, but most especially what the flavor of her arousal would taste like.

Hook bet he could get drunk off of Belle's body. Become addicted to a sweet, juicy piece like her. What he wouldn't give to have her laying naked before him, open to his every inspection and desire. He'd take his time exploring her, learning everything, including what kind of sounds she would make when he entered inside of her. He bet she'd be a screamer, wild, untamed cries echoing in his ears.

Just imagining it was making him hard. Shit, but this fascination she held for him was out of control. Making him do things he had long ago sworn off of, Hook tearing open the front of his pants. There was little relief in freeing his erection, Hook gripping his cock with his hand and Belle's panties. The lace on his sensitive skin felt good, Hook closing his eyes. Picturing Belle, and pretending it was her hand that was doing this, even though his hand was far rougher then he could ever imagine hers ever being.

Shit but he was sweating, actually trembling in response to what he was doing. Belle's panties made all the difference, Hook's breath catching in his throat as he stroked himself to climax. It didn't take long either, Hook having spent too much time aroused this day. With his muscles clenching, Hook began bucking into his pumping fist, starting to curse and mutter Belle's name.

Violently, he released, his come soiling Belle's panties. Hook was left panting, and though the climax had taken some of the edge off, he was far from satisfied. If anything, he felt disgust with himself, hating that he had been reduced to this, and hating that he would do it all over again because even the fantasy of Belle had been good.

To Be Continued...

Shoot...shortest chapter yet...sorry...but wait, I shouldn't worry about length, as my friend Meg and others always try to drill into my head.

Ah, I had this maybe weird idea that Doctor Hopper would somehow play therapist to Hook, and helps him deal with some of his Mila issues, and Belle issues. Not sure if it's a good idea though...or more like I'm worried I wouldn't do a good job at that.

I'm sorta all worried about the masturbation bit. *blush* Also, Rumplestiltskin won't find them for a while yet. I worry people won't believe he couldn't find them though, so I do hope you can suspend your belief in that regard.

-Michelle

Annoyed, you're right you shouldn't come over here and take out on me the fact your rape fic needs aren't being met. And word to the wise, there is no law stating that a fic rated M, that every chapter has to have a sexual situation described in explicit detail.

sn-46, oh thank you! Your super sweet words is just the pick me up I needed to read this morning! :D *giggles* Seems I'm making people fans of this pairing. Whoo hoo! And I do like exploring the emotions that both of them are going through, so good to know it was a good point to express during her first sexual experience. And Really glad to know the porthole teasing was liked. :D Thanks again!


	6. Chapter 6

It was an all too familiar feeling, to wake in discomfort. To find himself laid out on the hard wood floor of his ship's deck, an empty bottle rolling past him in time with the ship's gentle movements. Water lapped at the sides of the ship, making it creak and groan, straining against the anchor that tethered it in place. Seagulls flew above him, one brave bird landing near him, intent on examining a broken piece of glass.

Hook grumbled under his breath, his one arm thrown up over his face. Attempting and failing to block out the blazing noon day sun, it's light doing little save to annoy him. It certainly wasn't chasing the chill from his skin, Hook shivering from the harbor's breeze.

He didn't immediately register the wrongness of the situation, Hook far to used to passing out wherever he pleased. It was better than the alternative, better than returning to an empty bed, to the room he had once shared with Mila.

Mila.

His chest seemed to swell with grief, Hook remembering she was dead. Remembering and knowing that no matter how much he drank, the best he could hope for was a few minutes of a lapse in memory. Those few minutes were precious, meant to be savored, for the illusion of peace they gave him. Often times, Hook took to drinking immediately upon remembering, and now he stretched out his arm, feeling for the bottle he heard rolling around. Instead his hands closed on fabric, something bunched up and soiled. Hook instantly froze, not wanting to turn his head to see, but already knowing what he had. What he touched and had ruined.

Belle. Her panties. It all began flooding back to him, Hook laying there with the come stained panties in his hand. Remembering what had led to their dirtying, the frenzied way he had stroked himself to climax with thoughts of the brown haired woman, and not that of Mila. Shame faced, remembering how he had gotten her panties in the first place, Hook still couldn't stop the arousal from stirring within him. Couldn't stop and couldn't control the fierce wanting he experienced. Feeling all the bigger fool for having done something so crazy out in the open, for giving in to such a perverse desire, for allowing it to make him so stupid and vulnerable as to lay out in the open, with not even a sword for protection.

How delighted Rumplestiltskin would have been, to come across Hook in such a manner. To find his hated foe laying there too drunk to do anything more than moan the name of the monster's own woman.

"Shit!" Hook exclaimed, letting go of Belle's panties. He sat up and grimaced, pain and disorientation old friends to the hangover he was nursing. He felt sick, but it had little to do with all the boozing he had done, and everything to do with the fact he was right. Belle was dangerous, not just to his heart, but to his health. Belle made him crazy, made him think and do stupid, careless things. Made him lust and drink himself sick, when he should have been preparing himself for the final showdown with Rumplestiltskin.

"Stupid!" Hook berated himself. He had to grab onto the railing before he could even attempt to find his footing and stand. The deck's floor seemed to roll under his feet, Hook fighting the unexpected dizziness by closing his eyes. Counting to ten in his head, then opening them, his blue eyes determined.

There would be no more fooling around. No more temptations, no more wanting for things that didn't have to do with his revenge. He wouldn't even look at Belle, let alone think of her. Wouldn't acknowledge any part of her presence, Hook grabbing the soiled panties, and throwing them over the ship's railing. Belle was nothing, meant nothing to him, not even as a tool to use against Rumplestiltskin.

She wasn't anything that he needed, Hook continued to tell himself. Attempting to harden his resolve where Belle was concerned. Trying to prepare himself to go back into that room, and face her, not because he wanted to prove something to them both, but for the simple fact he needed to retrieve Baelfire's scarf from where it lay on his bedroom's floor.

He made no attempt to be quiet as he stalked down to the lower levels of his ship. Or when he violently slammed open the bedroom door, his intent to frighten Belle awake should she be sleeping. She startled in place, her restraints rattling as she turned frightened towards him.

For one instance, their eyes locked together. Belle looked close to fainting, her lips parting on a silent gasp.

"Hook."

He didn't even greet her, abruptly looking away. But not before she received the full force of his glower, his eyes blaming her for all that had happened the night before. That look he gave her was effective, the woman no longer attempting to speak. Hook would stalk towards the scarf, skirting the wall farthest from the bed. Trying to pretend he wasn't keeping his distance from her out of FEAR. The fear of what he might see, what he might say, what he might do, that unwanted longing urging him to go to Belle.

The scarf lay crumpled right where he had thrown it. Hook picked it up now, studying the soft buttery yellow wool. This was the one thing Rumplestiltskin needed, the only thing that might let him find his son. Hook didn't know the hows or why of what Rumplestiltskin intended to do with the scarf, but the pirate knew he couldn't allow the monster to get it back.

"I should have burned this right away." Hook said, scowling. But he knew why he hadn't, why he hadn't been able to bring himself to destroy an item so precious. Because it wasn't just valuable, wasn't just Baelfor's. Mila had made this scarf with her own two hands, putting what love she had into this gift for her son. Hook was sentimentality's fool, wanting to savor the scarf as much as Rumplestiltskin had, though the monster's reasons had been different from his own.

His fingers turned crushing on the wool, Hook's eyes angry, determined. There was no room for sentimentality. He couldn't afford to cling to something just because Mila had once touched it, had expended effort to make it. He had to destroy it, and let it's ashes scatter in the wind. Only then would he have a chance of claiming a victory over the crocodile, Mila's son Baelfire lost to Rumplestiltskin forever.

Hook knew what he would say, what he would do. Mocking the crocodile, laughing in his face as he asked Rumplestiltskin how did it feel. How did it feel to finally lose someone precious. He'd welcome the death Rumplestiltskin would give him then, peace at last attained. No more would Hook have to remember or feel, nor would he have to feel guilty for wanting things. For wanting the chance to be happy, something he hadn't wished for in years.

It was Belle's fault, the woman somehow messing with Hook's mind. Even now she was a temptation, Hook wanting to turn and look at her. Instead he scowled, abrupt as he marched over to his desk. He laid the scarf on it's flat top, and began rifling through the drawers, searching for the matches he kept on hand to light the lanterns with.

He didn't find them immediately. It became apparent that Belle had searched even in the desk, his belongings in disarray. As though she had pulled everything out, then carelessly tossed them back inside. He felt real annoyance then, this close to cursing when he violently ripped a drawer out of the desk, upending it's contents onto the floor. He heard a sound from the bed, the woman failing at her attempt to muffle it. It was then that Hook realized Belle had been making and muffling sounds for a while now, a deep breath here, something like a sob there.

Unwilling, but doing it all the same, Hook turned towards the bed. Belle sat against the center of it's headboard, her arms held at an awkward angle by the cuffs that restrained her movements. Her head was down, her shoulder moving, the woman trying to wipe her face against it. Irritation filled him, not because he realized she was crying, but because of the feelings that stirred within him at Belle's tears. The need to soothe, to hold, to wipe away. To protect her from whatever it was that upset her, even if that whatever was HIM.

Feeling like an ogre, Hook spoke, his tone nasty. "There's no use crying. My mind's made up." But she didn't stop, her muffled sobs sounding louder. "He has to pay. He HAS to!" Hook growled at her. "Destroying Baelfor's scarf is the only way..." And then an unexpected surge of jealousy hit him, Hook striding towards the bed. "Rumplestiltskin doesn't deserve your tears!"

His hand reached for her, though what he intended to do, Hook hadn't a clue. The jealous fit of anger was upon him, Hook feeling crazed by it, by the thought of Belle loving Rumplestiltskin still.

Hook froze, still as a statue when Belle lifted her head. When her gaze met his. And yes, the tears were streaming down her cheeks, her eyes red rimmed from the amount of crying she had been doing. But the most alarming thing of all was the look in her eyes, Hook not seeing misery or anger, or even hate. Instead the blue shown with relief, Belle practically sagging as much as the restraints would allow her.

"I thought you had died."

Slowly he blinked, Hook trying to process her words. "Why in the hell would you think that?" He finally asked, his voice gruff and unsettled.

She sniffled, blinking rapidly, the tears catching on her lashes before dropping the rest of the way. "When you didn't come back..."

It hit him then, Hook realizing what she must have thought. What she had assumed after hearing all the crashing the cricket had been making. Hook had never bothered to explain, not then, and not in the hours that followed. Leaving Belle tied to the bed to imagine the worst.

"Oh lass..." Hook finally sighed, his hand cupping her wet cheek. She seemed to shudder with her breath, but leaned into his touch, her eyes closing for just one moment. He couldn't resist brushing his thumb over her lips, finding them trembling as badly as the rest of her.

"Can you ever forgive me?" Hook asked her, finding she didn't cry quite so hard when he was touching her. "For making you worry?"

"Where were you?" She asked, instead of answering his question. "If that wasn't Rumplestiltskin come to kill you, then what made all that noise?"

"It was just a noisy little cricket." He didn't quite smile, watching the confusion take root in her eyes.

"A cricket?"

"You needn't worry about it." Hook assured her. "You needn't worry about anything at all."

Somehow Belle managed to make the sound pointed, as she rattled her restraints. Hook really did want to smile then, sure his eyes twinkled with his amusement.

"It's a little hard not to." Belle was saying. "What with you and Rumplestiltskin wanting to kill each other. And after that crash, when you didn't come back...I was sure..." She sighed, her breath warm on his fingers. "I was sure one or both of you were dead."

"One of us IS going to die." Hook stated.

"But it needn't come to that!" Belle protested. "Just give back the scarf, and Rumplestiltskin will let you be. He won't have to kill you...and you won't have to kill him!"

His hand dropped back to his side, Hook staring at her. "You can't really believe that. I've stolen from Rumplestiltskin, not once but twice. He won't be content to drop this, even if I was willing to give up on my revenge."

"I can talk to him!" Belle insisted. "I can get him to show you mercy."

"Mercy?!" He was no longer amused. "I wouldn't want that from him!"

"One of you have to be willing to make the first step towards letting this vendetta go. Otherwise..." Her eyes were welling up with new tears, Belle's voice quivering with her upset. "You'll die."

"Yes, I'm well aware of that fact." Hook answered, and forced himself to turn away from her. "But there's no use in crying over me lass...I'm too dead of feeling too care. About that, or anything..."

"That's a lie." Her voice called out accusingly. "You feel...! Some would say you feel too much."

"I feel nothing." Hook insisted. "Haven't felt anything for years."

"You don't kiss like you're incapable of feeling."

"And you've kissed how many men, that you're now qualified to make such an observation?" Hook challenged. He should have felt satisfied at her silence, instead he just felt grim disappointment.

"You feel..." She whispered it, then shouted. "You feel with ME!"

Hook had been halfway to the desk when Belle had let out that exclamation. "Don't be absurd. And don't be confusing a bodily reaction with meaning something more." He got a few more steps before she recovered, Belle sounding more heated then he had ever previously heard her.

"Well then Hook...come prove it by kissing me."

It was the most furious sounding, but intriguing challenge he had ever had the privilege to hear. One his body reacted to, Hook finding himself almost to the bed, before he came to his senses.

"This is stupid." He said out loud. "I have nothing to prove."

"You only think you have nothing." Belle retorted.

"Believe what you like, I am not going to kiss you." Hook insisted.

"Coward." She spat out when he once again turned from her. A hiss of displeasure escaped him, Hook almost twitching with annoyance. Belle surely felt she had struck a nerve, one she was all too willing to play on. "Are you that frightened, that scared, to actually feel something?! Something other than the misery you clearly revel in."

"I do not revel in my misery!" He snapped back.

"You so clearly do. Hiding in your grief, your sorrow for how many years?" Belle demanded. "Throwing your life away, existing as a mere shadow of yourself. I think you cling to your pain, because it's the only way to keep from being hurt again."

At this rate he was going to have to kiss her, just to shut Belle up.

"I think you're not only scared of feeling, you're scared of me!"

"You?!" He scoffed in disbelief.

"Yes!" She cried out, exasperated. "Because at the very least, I awaken in you the feelings you hoped to bury. It's why you keep pushing me away. It's why you won't kiss me now."

"You have an absurd way of thinking."

"And you are far too similar to Rumplestiltskin." It was a verbal slap in the face, Hook turning toward Belle, incensed. "He too was afraid of feeling, of experiencing something more to life. You're both cowards, Hook. Cut from the same cloth."

She wasn't cowering back in fear, as Hook reached the bed, the man choosing to loom over her. Her eyes were flashing with her defiance, her expression almost haughty as she looked at him. Hook knew he shouldn't, knew that Belle had been baiting him, saying anything she could think of to lure him to her side. And yet he couldn't stop, placing both hook and hand on the headboard, as he began to lower his face toward Belle.

Red rimmed eyes watched him, Belle's face tilted towards his. She wasn't crying now, her expression one of challenge. Hook was sure his own eyes were defiant, the man determined to prove to her if not to himself, that she didn't affect him. He might as well have been swimming against the ocean's tide, anticipation shivering through him a second before he brushed his lips over hers. And the Gods help him, Hook wanted to deepen it, to claim more from her than the chaste kiss he was offering.

The headboard cracked a protested under the tightening of his hand's grip. Belle had kissed him, the woman not at all content to keep the kiss chaste. She used what he had taught her, made her lips a weapon whose mission was seduction. This time it was Belle attempting to deepen the kiss, Belle who made Hook's lips quiver at the ardent way she had at them.

He wasn't thinking straight, thoroughly enchanted by this woman. Hook should have pulled away, not lingered in place, letting Belle have her way with him. But her sweet mouth was a powerful drug, fueling addictions, making him want more. Under Belle's guidance, their lips slanted to fit together, Hook being the one to open his mouth first. Belle took full advantage to slip her tongue inside, lapping slowly at his. It made him shudder, made pleasant heat shoot through him, right down to center in his groin. Hook dug his fingers so hard into the headboard, he was amazed it didn't splinter apart and stab him.

Hook found he wouldn't have cared if it had, not so long as Belle kept kissing him. Good God but she was amazing! And she'd only grow more so the more time Belle had to practice and perfect this art. Hell if she wasn't close to perfecting it already, Hook savoring the feel of her tongue and her lips. Turning despondent when she broke the kiss, Hook trying to follow after her, even as she turned her face to the side.

Her cheek still felt wet from her earlier tears, Hook kissing, licking there. He listened to the sound of Belle's heavy breathing, exhaling in time to Hook's own panting. Belle was as affected as he was, as thoroughly bespelled by this thing, this attraction, that was existing between them.

"Aw hell." He cursed out loud, but it wasn't voiced anywhere as vicious as it should have been. Belle turned back to him, Hook's eyes briefly flicking towards her kiss swollen lips. He would have been undone, if her tongue were to flick out now and lick across the bottom. But it didn't, and he wasn't, Hook meeting Belle's own gaze. She wasn't looking mocking, or toting her victory over him. If anything she looked as confused and as troubled as Hook felt. Because she knew as well as him, that what was happening between them was the worst possible thing, Hook a dead man long before he had become painfully attracted to Rumplestiltskin's woman.

To Be Continued...

Ah...sometimes it's good to take a break...I reread the first five chapters since I hadn't worked on this in a couple of days. I like to reread the existing chapters, to keep in the mood/mind set for the fic, but also to remind me of small details I might have forgotten, or even become inspired with new aspects. This time the rereading made me realize I was going to mess up, that I hadn't thought of something that maybe should have been obvious. And that was, what Belle might have thought when she heard all the noise, and Hook didn't come back to assure her it wasn't anything, wasn't Rumplestiltskin arriving and tearing up the ship. I imagined she'd have this worst case scenario in her head, where Hook died, or maybe both of them died. Like she worked herself up into another panic imagining.

I like this chapter for the most part. There's a few things I worry about, but over all I think this ended up being better than my original plans. Which was just gonna be Hook bringing her food and noticing she had been crying. I still want to get food involved...she and Archie must be hungry! XD

Hopefully seven won't take as long a delay as I had for six. I actually want to start working on it right now, right after I proof read and post this one. I'm aiming for a Belle POV but we shall see. Part of the stall for this chapter was, I couldn't figure out to my satisfaction how to start the scene with Hook waking up on the topside deck of the ship. But I did finally get it! *flashes the victory sign and stops rambling for now.*

-Michelle

sn-46, thanks! :D Glad you like the therapy idea! I was actually thinking it happens right after something major goes down with Rumplestiltskin...I actually have this scene in my mind of a defeated and down in the dumps Hook freeing Archie, and then instead of leaving, he tries to figure out what is going on, and actually helps Hook make some realizations and a decision. But I don't know if I will get to write that scene the way it is in my head, cause the characters don't always want to behave for me...*points at this scene in six.* Course we'll see how seven develops...I just worry whatever talking Belle and Hook might do in it, well it might cancel out the need for therapy. But...I really hope I still get to use that scene in here after all!

Redbell69, hello and thanks! Yes, the plot bunnies are still running rampant on me! Practically biting me with new ideas to try out. In this fic and in others...hoo boy...I need to split into two, to be able to do everything...X_X Thanks so much, and love that you got inspired with some dreams from reading this! And thanks for the vote of confidence about the therapy scene between them. :D

Kendra Luehr, thanks! I actually really liked that moment, when they were cuddled on the bed, and Hook fell asleep. XD It wasn't a kind of moment I had been expecting until I got to it, and then it felt like it worked out perfectly, maybe even cutely. XD As for Archie, well I sorta thought he was a bit miffed that he didn't get any privacy when he needed to use the bathroom. So he was being observant, but maybe a little...catty pointing it out. XD

Skylish, aw thank you!

Anjelluv, oh thank you! Such nice words. I am blushing from the praise! I feel like this pairing has infected my thoughts too. I can't stop thinking about them! I feel happy to have written a fic like Restraint for them. :D

Raneyc1, thanks I am trying! Though I feel I haven't found my groove yet for Taken. Which is why updates for that one is taking forever and a day. But hopefully I can get a new chapter for that one...and hopefully settle into the joy of writing it like I have for this Restraint fic. ^^;;

Gryffindors Slayer, thank you! Sorry for the wait. Still keeping at it, even if I've slowed down. :)

Sixties Queen, oh thank you so much! All of your ladies and gents are making me so happy to have the fic and pairing be so well received! :D

Cruachu, seems we both stumbled into the Once Upon A Time section of the site, at about the same time! Ah...I do have some Rumple Belle without Hook involved story ideas...but we'll see if that ever happens. I'm firmly caught in Hook and Belle's grip! XD


	7. Chapter 7

Belle wasn't much for cursing. To put it simply, often times she didn't see the point in letting loose with such foul language. Of course there were times when a cross word seemed the only option, the only words capable of conveying a situation properly. Hook's simple, soft spoken curse fell into that category, summing up a wealth of troubling feelings in just two words.

Aw hell.

Belle didn't repeat the words out loud as she shifted to lock eyes with Hook. The man was frowning, frustrated by the situation he and Belle found themselves in. It was a frustration she too felt, the timing and situation, even the feelings being experienced, hardly ideal. Never mind that he was haunted by memories of a dead woman, that Hook was driven by the need to avenge her. Forget for a moment that Belle was the pirate's prisoner. The most troubling aspect of their circumstances, was the problem that Rumplestiltskin represented. A dangerous, and downright lethal problem, Rumplestiltskin having already killed one woman that he had been in love with.

Belle shivered, knowing her position was hardly one any would envy. No matter how attracted she was to the pirate, Belle liked being alive far more than she liked Hook's kisses. But it was hitting her just how horrible a mess things had become, and not just because she had learned the truth about Mila. Belle was developing real feelings for Hook, the woman having urges and desires that extended beyond lustful sensations. She wanted to help Hook, to heal him if possible. She wasn't yet at that point where she wanted a future WITH Hook, but damn if Belle didn't want the chance to explore that as an option.

Belle was fearing she was all out of options, all her choices gone where attraction and feelings were concerned. All because she had once been foolish enough to open her heart to Rumplestiltskin, loving him before she had known the true him. Even now she didn't know enough about the man, Rumplestiltskin still hiding so much from her. She could understand why he would do that, Rumplestiltskin not wanting Belle to grow to hate him. Belle wasn't there yet, but she WAS afraid of him now. Terrified and feeling trapped, because Belle didn't trust what Rumplestiltskin would do to her should she try to leave him.

She wanted to believe in the good part of him. Wanted to believe she had nurtured that part enough that Rumplestiltskin would do the right thing, the sane thing. But Belle was remembering how quick to anger the man was, when something or someone went against his wishes. Remembering how quick he was to seek vengeance, breaking promises to her in order to lash out against those that displeased him. But more than that, she remembered the lies, of which there was plenty.

Rumplestiltskin had been lying to her, hiding the truth from her, right up to the moment Belle had decided to seek out Hook's ship. And even before that, Rumplestiltskin had been evasive, refusing to make a promise he would not keep. It was that refusal that had truly motivated Belle's actions, the woman seeking out Hook not just for the scarf, but because she had wanted to keep Rumplestiltskin from killing.

That desire of hers, that desperate need played into how she had wanted to believe in him. How she still wanted, Belle trying to cling to what little good she might have thought she saw in Rumplestiltskin. Wanting to believe, and knowing she might not be able to afford to, Belle knowing everything rode on just how sane and rational Rumplestiltskin could be, should she break his heart with an attempt to leave him.

She wasn't currently contemplating a future with Hook, with anyone. But the situation was too similar to the one of the past, Belle wondering how in the world Rumplestiltskin would handle it to possibly lose another woman to the pirate's charms. To love Hook might well be as good as giving him a death sentence, she realized, and even the lesser crime of just being attracted to the pirate might be an unforgivable sin in Rumplestiltskin's eyes.

It truly was a fine mess they were all thrust into, one that would only get worse once-IF Rumplestiltskin became aware of the attraction Belle and Hook had for one another. Belle truly didn't know what to do, where to go from here, but she knew she couldn't just switch off her newly developing feelings. Feelings of attachment, of desire, of liking and wanting to help heal the pirate, even as Belle was aware she was feeling new things because of Rumplestiltskin as well. Fright, despair, and a reluctance to resign herself to a future she no longer wanted to embrace.

It was with a quiver in her voice, that Belle spoke, her thoughts hardly processed to a pleasing point. "What are we going to do?" She asked Hook, desperate and hoping for answers Belle already knew the pirate would not have. That stark, bleak look he now gave her, just confirmed her fears, Hook just as confused and clueless with how to proceed.

"If I knew that lass..." Hook began, his husky voice holding a raw note of exhaustion to it. "I'd already be doing it."

She almost laughed then, but it would have been borderline hysterical rather than happy. Belle didn't need to speak out loud how bad the situation they found themselves in, truly was. Not when Hook had extensive amounts of experience with dealing with Rumplestiltskin when the man was thrust into the role of a lover scorned. Hook knew all too well what could happen, to what sort of fate Belle might suffer at Rumplestiltskin's hands.

Shivering, Belle tried to lean into Hook, hoping to leech some of the warmth of his body for her own. "There's got to be a way." She said out loud, not noticing the way Hook hesitated, before placing a hand on her shoulder. "Some way where we can all be happy, where none of us, not even Rumplestiltskin, have to die."

Had Hook been in the process of drawing them closer together? But he had flinched at the words she had spoken, Belle assuming his reaction had everything to do with the latter half of her sentence, and not the first. Failing to realize Hook's flinch and resulting actions, was a guilty response to the concept of him being happy.

She was completely misunderstanding, as Hook gently but unmistaken, pushed her back against the headboard. It was just a few inches, but it might as well have been a large chasm between them, Hook withdrawing from her. She had neither his warmth, nor his looming presence above her, Belle feeling the distance her words had caused.

"I'm...sorry." She said out loud. "Even after all he's done, all I've learned. I still don't want him to die. I simply don't hate Rumplestiltskin to wish for that." Belle watched Hook blink, for one second his closed up expression hinting at some flash of emotion. It was gone before she could even hope to identify it, Belle continuing uncertainly. "But I am frightened of him. Because of the thing he did to his own wife, but also because there exists the possibility he could do it again, this time to ME."

Hook had shifted to kneel besides her, but he wasn't looking at Belle. Instead he was staring off at the far wall, staring past it at some memory Belle wasn't a part of. Belle wasn't content to be ignored, talking even though she wasn't sure Hook was hearing her.

"I've believed for a long time now that there exists a goodness inside Rumplestiltskin." She said, pleased she managed to get that statement out without stammering. "That it just needed to be nurtured. You can't believe how frustrating it is, to have lost the chance to do just that for so many years. But..." A sigh then, Belle's breath rustling some of the hair curling near her cheeks. "Just as there is that good, there is that potential to do wrong. I've seen far too many times how quick he is to anger...how he lashes out when something or someone displeases him. I think I must have blinded myself, at least to the meaning behind those...tantrums."

"I WANT to believe he can still be good." Belle continued, when Hook still said nothing. "But I can't stomach living a lie, in order for him to achieve that goodness. I can't go on as though I don't know what he did to his own wife, nor can I ignore my feelings. Feelings I've barely begun to explore, along with this attraction between us. I can't pretend and say I feel nothing for you, I can't go on and be what Rumplestiltskin has wanted me to be so badly. I don't think I can love him, let alone pretend too. I can't stay with a man who frightens me this badly, who leaves me wondering who he will hurt next, and how he will lie about it."

"I just..." Belle shrugged as best she could, given the restraints held her back. "I don't want a role to be assigned to me. I don't want to be trapped, existing only as what Rumplestiltskin needs. I WOULD grow to hate him, to resent him..."

"Mila resented him." Hook said abruptly, but he still wasn't looking at Belle. "She hated being trapped as his wife, stuck tied to a coward, with little prospects to change her own fate."

"And then...one day she met you?" Belle asked softly. She was curious, wanting to know more about the woman who had caused pain for both Hook and Rumplestiltskin.

"I won't say it was love at first sight. For either of us." Hook answered, and he briefly looked at Belle. "I wasn't looking for anything permanent, more interested in a good time. I don't think she was hoping for anything more than a night's escape from her own marriage."

"But it was more than just a night, wasn't it?" Belle asked.

Hook nodded. "Aye. We were in town to restock and repair our ship, not to mention cash in some of our most recent plunder. Mila kept returning to the tavern, and I kept inviting her to sit with me. Out of all the women there, she was one of the only ones that wasn't afraid, or..." He shook his head, whatever he had been about to say, dismissed. "I LIKED that she wasn't frightened of us big bad pirates. I liked that she was quick to laugh and entertain me. And I won't lie and say I wasn't attracted to her based on looks, because that did play a part in it."

Once he would have given Belle a sly, almost lecherous look. Now instead he just sat there, bleak and morose. "I'll give credit where credit is due. Rumplestiltskin does have an eye when it comes to picking out women for himself."

Belle couldn't stop the blush, though she was quick to protest. "He didn't pick me out to be his woman, but to keep his home and possessions tidy!"

Hook shrugged at that. "Perhaps." It was all he would say to Belle's protests, too caught up in thoughts of Mila. "We had actually met three times before I got my first sight of Rumplestiltskin. Cowering and begging her to come back home with him. Embarrassed though she was, Mila wouldn't be swayed...and not even the fact that she had a son that needed her, could stop Mila from returning to me every night for the rest of that week."

Belle wasn't sure what to say to that, not without being insulting to a dead woman. "She...She must have been really unhappy with him."

"She was." Hook hissed with conviction. "She didn't tell me how unhappy right away, and I didn't inquire into her home situation. Not even after seeing she had a son, a family that depended on her. I didn't care that I was being a home wrecker, that we were nothing but distractions to each other. I was having fun with Mila, and I liked her."

"When did it start to become more?"

"Not when you think. Not until after she had spent a few months in my company. Not until AFTER she ran away from her life with Rumplestiltskin."

Belle's eyes were wide with her surprise. That was the last answer she had been expecting. "Then how?" She asked, perplexed. "How did she come to leave with you in the first place? Did you...did you really steal her away?"

"Of course not!" Hook snapped. "I don't have to steal women in that way. But Mila told me of her unhappiness, begged me for the chance to come be a part of my crew. She was desperate, willing to do just about anything, and thinking a pirate's life was her only chance at freedom."

It probably was, Belle thought. The Enchanted Kingdoms weren't exactly progressive when it came to a woman's options. Without being able to divorce Rumplestiltskin without his agreement, Mila would have had little option save to run away and be penniless or a whore. A life on the seas, a chance to be a pirate and earn some coin of her own, must have seemed a God's send to Mila if she could only convince Hook to go along with her scheme.

"I didn't take her seriously at first...but..." Hook shrugged with a lascivious curving to his lips. "Mila spent the night being quite persuasive."

Thanks to her books, Belle could guess at just what kind of convincing Mila chose to do. It made her blush redder, Belle refusing to imagine Hook doing those types of things with another woman, even as she was positive Mila wasn't the only woman Hook had enjoyed in his life.

It wasn't just that Hook was handsome. He was confidant, some might say overly so. Confidant in more ways than one, but especially when it came to handling a woman, to handling Belle. He exuded sensuality, and his kisses and touches had skill to them. He had to have gotten that skill somewhere. Hook couldn't have been born an expert when it came to strumming desire in a woman's body.

Redder than ever, Belle could barely look at Hook as she remembered just how hot he had made her during that interlude in the bathroom. What her books and Rumplestiltskin had failed to do, Hook had accomplished, awakening Belle to sexual desires and feelings. She had gone from that innocent, downright naive love for Rumplestiltskin, to a hot headed, demanding sexual longing. A longing that was currently focused entirely on Hook, and Belle had to remind herself that this wasn't the Enchanted Kingdoms where women were expected to remain chaste and pure until marriage. Here if Belle so chose, she could explore her options, and right now, regardless of the dire situation, Hook was the most appealing to her. Even if the attraction ultimately led nowhere, Belle wouldn't have minded Hook being her first lover.

Red faced and feeling warm, Belle had to remember to keep her legs tightly pressed together. Not only to preserve her modesty, but to keep pressure on a part of her that was yearning for relief. She was embarrassed, maybe even a little horrified to be aroused at this time, but she HAD just vividly recalled their time in the bathroom, almost in a desperate attempt to keep from imagining Hook with another woman. Not only would that imagining have driven her mad, it would have left her green eyed with a jealousy she didn't yet have a right to.

But still, it was all she could do to keep from squirming, Belle fidgeting in place. Wanting to get closer to Hook, in all ways possible, and being held back by so many things. Chief among them was the distant look in Hook's eyes, Belle wondering if he was recalling in vivid detail the things he had done to him by Mila. And just as quickly, she was frowning, annoyed and huffing out almost impatiently.

"So she convinced you...then what?"

Hook blinked slowly, as though loathe to shake free of his memories. "We almost made it out of town without her husband being anything the wiser. But some busy body with too much time on their hands, alerted him to what was happening. Course, I know what they all assumed. They all thought we were just taking Mila...and it wasn't something I tried to convince them of otherwise."

"So Rumplestiltskin really thought you were kidnapping her." Belle murmured.

"A cruel deception perhaps, but no less cruel than the truth. I spared him quite some pain in letting him think I took Mila against her will. Though of course...I probably caused him a lot of pain in other ways." Hook was glowering now. "He didn't deserve an ounce of my sympathy. I should have told him right then and there Mila was leaving him of her own choice."

"How...when did he find out otherwise?" Belle asked, taken aback by that glower. That amount of anger, of disdain and hate, took her by surprise even now, the grudge Hook held running deep.

"About five years later." Hook made a fist with his hand. "It was pure chance to run into him. Some sick twist of fate that we all met up in the same port town. He saw me first...quick and ready to act on his own hate."

"What happened?"

"I lied to him." Hook told her, another brief glance sent her way. "I saw what he had become, and I feared. Not just for myself, or for my crew. But for Mila. Already the Dark One's reputation was proceeding him, Rumplestiltskin having made a name for himself as a key player in the Enchanted Kingdoms. The Dark One was no longer anyone's slave, and no one had a clue as to what his true agenda could be."

Hook grimaced, even more pain in his eyes now. "I knew I couldn't allow him to get close to Mila. So I told him she had died. That she had been dead for quite some time. I don't know if I was very convincing, or if he was just blind to everything but his own anger and hate. But he believed me. Not only that, I think he wanted to avenge her. He threatened to come and kill every last one of my crew, if I didn't come back at dawn and duel with him." A frown. "I should have just sailed away, but I couldn't risk him coming to the ship. Couldn't risk him finding Mila. I would have rather died than let her fall into his control once more..."

"So what happened?"

Hook gave her an unhappy smile, the pain growing in his expression. "Mila. She was hardly content with my plan to nobly sacrifice myself in her stead. She had managed to wrangle the truth out of my men, and just barely made it in time to stop Rumplestiltskin from ending my life."

"I bet he was..." Belle paused, trying to think of the right term. "Shocked to see her after what you said."

"He got over it quick enough." Hook said with a grimace. "I wouldn't have wished you to see him then. How he barely controlled his anger, seething with it, and ready to kill us both for Mila's betrayal."

"Why didn't he?"

"We had something he was after. Something that almost bought us our lives." Hook pounded his hand on the mattress. "We should have used it at once, instead we foolishly considered ourselves safe. We were stupid...so stupid...and Rumplestiltskin was angry, and full of questions."

"Anyone would have questions in that kind of situation." Belle admitted.

"You're right. But not everyone would have badgered Mila into giving them an answer they already knew." Hook was downright sneering, snarling as he spoke through gritted teeth. "He got Mila to admit she had never loved him, and that Belle, was when he ripped out and crushed her heart. He didn't hesitate, he didn't try to take control of her, he didn't want anything but to see her DEAD."

Belle wanted to deny it, but the look, the feelings Hook expressed, was too pure in grief and rage to allow her to believe he was lying. "Hook..."

"I could do nothing." Hook whispered, his voice almost choked out of him. "There was no way to save her, no way to stop him. He killed her faster than I could even blink. I should have died that day with her, but though my heart had stopped in it's tracks, my body reacted. My crew told me I let out such a scream, charging Rumplestiltskin with my sword. I couldn't have hoped to defeat him, not after he had thoroughly schooled me on how futile a wish that was just hours earlier. But grief and anger combined is a powerful emotion. I wanted him dead, and with them fueling me, maybe I might have thought I stood a chance."

"I didn't die, and I didn't get to kill him. But I did get to thwart him in getting what he wanted." Now he let out an unfeeling laugh. "That was cold comfort given what, who I had just lost."

Belle's eyes were wet, the woman sad, mad, sick with emotions, feeling sorry for all three involved in that mess of the past. She was also scared for herself, but she pushed back that fear, wanting to comfort Hook.

"Please...uncuff me." Belle begged him. "I don't intend to go anywhere."

"You should." Hook said, the words curt and abrupt. "You should be thinking of getting as far away from both me and Rumplestiltskin. We'll only get you dead."

She was chilled by those words, fearing they might be the truth. But she clung stubbornly to something besides fear, wanting, needing to reach out to Hook. "Please..." Belle whispered, not promising him anything.

Hook stared at her a moment longer, then seemed to nod to himself. He shifted closer, and began undoing Belle's restraints. The instant the first of Belle's restraints came off, she was grabbing at him, pulling him against her. He went as still as a statue, Hook frozen, almost not breathing as Belle hugged him to her.

He didn't collapse against her, didn't start crying. Belle had a feeling Hook never truly cried, holding back in expressing his grief in tears. Instead he probably let it sit inside him, eating away at his heart and his soul. Belle cried for him, because he couldn't do it for himself, and because Hook was as much a victim as Mila and Rumplestiltskin had been. Each had played a part in hurting each other. Each had inflicted and been wounded by the others.

"It was terrible what happened." Belle finally said, trying not to sniffle. "But the past won't necessarily repeat itself. There's a chance that there can be a different outcome. That Rumplestiltskin has matured enough to not react in such a murderous way to his own heart breaking."

"Don't bet your life on that." She heard Hook mutter fiercely.

"It's okay to doubt what will happen." Belle continued. "It's okay to expect the worst of him. But Hook...you have to let go...BOTH of you have to. You can't keep letting the past, what happened between you, what happened with Mila, drive you both to fighting. Revenge is not the answer, not the way to move on, and it certainly won't lead to being happy. And you do want to be happy, don't you?"

He didn't answer her, not in words. Instead his body stiffened, Hook suddenly pulling free of Belle's one armed embrace. His face was ashen in it's paleness, his eyes cold and unforgiving. It was that look in them that led Belle to realizing there was a deeper problem here then she had first realized.

"I gave up on that a long time ago." He finally said. "There's only one thing I want, and that's to make Rumplestiltskin pay for what he did, what he took from Mila and me both!" He was already getting off of the bed, stalking away from her.

"And then what?" Belle called out to him, unable to follow with one hand still chained to the bed board. "Will you finally allow yourself to be happy and live, IF you were to get your revenge on Rumplestiltskin?"

"I don't plan to survive this, no matter what happens with Rumplestiltskin." Was Hook's answer.

"You can't mean that!" Belle protested. "Hook...HOOK!" But he was already stalking to the bedroom door, basically ignoring her. Belle let out a frustrated cry, jerking harder on her restrained arm. That action of hers succeeded in nothing save to give Belle a sore arm, the woman slumping in place on the bed.

Belle didn't understand why Hook was so driven to die, why he couldn't overcome his grief, and embrace the idea of life and happiness again. She certainly had no concept that he was struggling with his attraction to her, and what it meant, or that he felt it a betrayal of Mila. But Belle was starting to worry that Hook had wounds far deeper than she had first realized, ones she alone might not be able to heal.

To Be Continued...

Though I don't know when the next chapter will be written. Oh man, can't believe it's almost over a month since I last updated this one. First it was cause I was busy writing for my other Once stories, but then about three weeks ago, I was dealing with really bad headaches. I got three in the course of two weeks. Once I felt better, I reread all the chapters of Restraint, and that's when the real struggle began.

I have spent a week and a half trying to write chapter seven of Restraint. And I am freaking exhausted from the battle. This chapter you just read? It's a small miracle it got completed, and it is the sixth attempt. I actually wrote six versions none of them except this one got completed. They all shared the same opening paragraphs, right up to when Belle asks "What are we going to do." Each draft had a different angle I tried to tackle, nothing seemed to satisfy me.

The first attempt, I realized Hook was being too accepting, like he was almost healed, or doing therapy with Belle which did not bode well for therapy for the cricket if he was already healing himself. Then I tried the Hook pulls away and is a little mean to Belle, but he was just coming off a jerk. Plus I worried it didn't have any fun, flirty feel...it still doesn't have it, but this was a very serious chapter for the most part. I had still hoped to get a small sexy moment in here, but sadly it didn't happen. I had hoped to end it that Hook pulled away from a sexy moment rather than a comforting moment, but oh well, roll with the punches says I!

I also tried not to let the recent episode of Once, where it showed Rumplestiltskin in the army, and Baelfire as a baby, affect what I was writing with Hook's tale of the past. I also wanted to get a bit in about his time in Neverland, and have him mention he's a LOT older than Belle realizes, but that didn't happen. I really think Hook spent a lot of time in Neverland, and only came back once he thought he could find a way to kill Rumplestiltskin. So that's an idea I want to play upon in several of my fics.

I'm glad to finally have this chapter finished. Maybe now I can finally write faster! I got like stubbornly obsessed and creatively blocked. I was like, "I am gonna get restraint seven written even if it kills me" and I say stubborn, cause all I could really focus on was I HAD to have seven written before I could work on anything else. It was stressing me, and driving me absolutely batty. So it's a great relief to have seven written finally! I don't know what happened that suddenly tonight I was able to write it in just a few hours time, but I am so glad and grateful!

Enough babbling about that. Laters my dears!

-Michelle

Luveskane, thank you! So sorry to make you all wait so long for an update this time around. Hope you'll still be reading! :)

K-Milah, thanks, I missed it too, even though it drive me to frustration. So far Restraint is my fave of my Hook Belle Once stories. So I really want to be able to write more of it. So I am desperately hoping I won't have any of the kind of trouble I had on seven for eight. Wish me luck!

Oh no about the threesome! I don't think these two men could share. Plus...er...two guys one woman sex makes me nervous, and is so not my thing but don't really wanna talk about it. I have written threesomes in the past, but only like smutty one shots with um..well one was there was a clone, and the other was the guy's past and present self sharing the gal. So they weren't really sharing her with a different person. Also written male female female threesome. XD

sn-46, thank you! Belle's reactions and honesty...oh man it's been so long, I'm not sure what my thought processes were for it. So all I can say is thank you, and glad you like what I did. :D I think I'm obsessed too, and the show is driving me crazy cause we are only get a few measly minutes of Hook airtime lately! When will he drive a whole episode again?! *pouts*

Marie Brook, thank you! I am trying my best to do that!

Alexh8494, thank you! Thank you so much! I'm happy you found and tried my story, and that you like how I've been characterizing Belle and Hook. Makes me happy if I am doing well at that! Sorry you had to wait so long for this new chapter. *blush*

StateofChandra, oh yes! Been trying to get to the food for both Belle and Archie. Ha ha ha, maybe Hook will in next chapter (He deserves a POV for eight!) bring Archie food as a peace offering, and somehow ease into therapy with him while Archie eats. I really want to get some kind of therapy with the cricket moment going...but..well as much as I make plans, when I go to write out the story, the actual chapters tends to mess up my plans. Another source of frustration, but I'm still having fun! XD

Patsita1, thank you! Hee, Restraint is my current fave right now. Glad you're enjoying this and my other offerings in the Once universe.

Kendra Luehr, hello dear! Thank you! I think writing to you tonight, might have given me some good luck towards finishing this chapter at long last! :D

RedBell69, thank you!


	8. Chapter 8

It hadn't been a good week for one Archie Hopper. It had started with a patient, with the woman who was both the Mayor of Storybrooke, and a one time Evil Queen. Regina Mills had been angry, had actually felt betrayed by Doctor Hopper. She had believed he had violated the doctor patient confidentiality of their relationship. Archie hadn't, but Regina hadn't allowed him a chance to explain that.

The woman had been downright threathening, a fact that didn't go unnoticed by other observers. Archie hadn't believed she would truly hurt him, the man firmly believing in giving everyone the chance to do, to BE their best. And Regina WAS trying. If only for the chance to win her adopted son's approval.

Archie didn't care that Regina had glowered, that she had raised her voice at him. He had been determined to continue working with her, to believe in her. He had been certain that after an appropriate cooling off period, she'd come back. That she'd be eager for a chance to continue their therapy sessions.

Archie hadn't expected it to happen that very night. But he had been pleased all the same when Regina had showed up on his doorstep. Pleased right up to the moment she had KILLED him. Of course, the death hadn't been real, and the woman hadn't really been Regina. But the rest of Storybrooke didn't know that.

It saddened him to think what his friends must be thinking, how they must be grieving, thinking Archie dead. He worried for them, and he worried for Regina, the woman framed by her own mother's hand. It wasn't so much that he worried for Regina's safety, as Archie feared the choices she might make. The people she might hurt, in order to protect herself. Archie knew the sooner he got free, the sooner he could get to helping Regina, to clearing up the mess that his death had caused.

Unfortunately the doctor wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. Even if the restraints hadn't been magic, Archie simply wouldn't have been able to get free. He lacked both the strength to break them and the know how needed to pick a lock. He couldn't even get free enough to move about the room that served as his cell, Archie's every need dependant on a pirate.

Archie didn't exactly shudder at the thought of Hook. Not the way he did Cora, Regina's mother. The pirate Hook wasn't anywhere as scary or intimidating as the still evil Queen was, Archie actually sensing a thread of goodness in the man. A goodness that was buried deep, and one Hook didn't take kindly to Archie's attempts to draw it out.

Hook had never been overtly violent towards Archie. He had on occasion threatened to do things, and Archie had sensed enough to know Hook would have carried out those threats. So Archie played the obedient prisoner, and told Hook what he wanted, hoping that eventually it would lead to the man setting him free.

It hadn't, not yet. Archie supposed his turning up alive would inconvenience Cora's schemes. Whatever those were. Archie hadn't given up, wondering, hoping he could nurture that bit of goodness in Hook, and get the pirate to release him at last.

But Hook was visiting him less and less. That worried Archie anew, especially since it had been more than a day since Hook had bothered to feed him. He didn't know what was going on, save that Hook had been in the worst mood the time the doctor had demanded his attention.

Archie hadn't liked kicking up a fuss, but there really had been no choice. It was either make the racket that had drawn Hook to his prison, or wet his pants in an attempt to relieve himself. It had been no contest, Archie not about to endure that particular indignity.

Hook had been in quite a state, when he had come to investigate the noise Archie had been making. Archie hadn't failed to notice the wild look in his eyes, the mussed state of his hair, the faint perfume sticking to him, or the fact Hook had still been aroused. Archie had no real idea who the woman was, and would have been sick should he have even considered Hook laying with Cora. But he didn't know who else it could be, considering Cora and Hook both wanted their arrival in Storybrooke kept a secret.

Still, Archie was curious. He may have been a conscience, but even embodiments of one, were prone to bits of curiosity. It wasn't always a bad thing, and in the consciences' case, his curiosity was what led him to help others. If he hadn't been curious, he would never notice a person's distress, or try to find out the cause of it, and how to fix it.

It was that curiosity, that desire to find out and HELP, that stirred now in Archie. He hadn't failed to notice the floor boards creaking, that the sound of a man's heavy footsteps were being repeated. That the sound kept happening right outside his prison's door, as though someone was pacing back and forth in indecision before it.

Archie didn't tell himself not to bother. His curiosity was roused, and a part of him even thought that if he could help Hook, Archie might in fact be helping HIMSELF. He didn't like that he could have a selfish motive for doing this, but he also knew there was more at stake than himself or the pirate. Regina was in immediate danger of being lured back into evil by her mother, and if that happened, it would take more than one cricket to save Storybrooke.

Knowing what was at stake, Archie managed to call out without too much guilt. "Is that you, Hook?" The pacing stopped, the floorboards of the ship going quiet. "Is...is something the matter?"

Archie wasn't sure what he was expecting. The footsteps sounded again, no less heavy than before. "Hook? Is there something you need? Something I can help you with?"

A few minutes would pass, the pirate pacing outside the room. Enough time that Archie would have passed out, should he have held his breath waiting for a response. But finally he got one, the door first unlocking, then opening.

There had been no chance of it being a woman, and still Archie felt relived to have it confirmed that it was Hook who had been outside the room. Hook looked tired, his hair unkempt, his shirt wrinkled. Most startling of all, was the look in his eyes, the bleak, grief stricken expression he wore.

"Hook?"

"I lied to her." The pirate spoke, his voice hoarse as though he had been screaming. "I looked at her and I lied."

"Lied to...?" Somehow Archie didn't think Cora was the woman Hook had lied to.

"I told her there was nothing I wanted. Nothing I desired save for revenge." Hook continued. He hadn't entered the room completely, just standing in the doorway. He didn't even look like he saw Archie, instead staring at something the doctor couldn't even fathom. "I told her I didn't have any intention of surviving. I still don't." He added with a rasping laugh that rang hollow.

"But...?"

"There IS something." Hook continued in that hoarse tone of voice. "Something I might want more than revenge."

Archie wasn't sure what to make of what Hook was saying. He didn't even know if what Hook wanted, was a better alternative to seeking revenge. Especially if that something might prove just as self destructive.

"Have you ever been in love, cricket?" Hook abruptly asked. "No, I don't suppose you have."

"I was a man, before I became a conscience." Archie saw that that surprised Hook. "I've made my own share of mistakes, learned the hard way how my actions could hurt others."

"My actions are going to get an innocent woman killed." Hook said. "Another one..."

Archie blinked slowly. "How many have there been?"

"Only one." Hook answered. "So far. But one is more than enough, and I've been paying for it ever since."

"Paying for it how?" Archie asked, but the pain in Hook's eyes was enough of an answer. "Who was she?"

"Mila." Hook sighed, the sound heavy with grief. "Her name was Mila. She was the love of my life. She was also another man's wife."

"Oh..."

"Oh indeed." Hook gave a grim look. "She wasn't the first one to be otherwise engaged, but then I often didn't care to find out what a woman's circumstances were before beginning a relationship. Or even during it. I just cared about one thing, and nothing else seemed to matter."

"But this Mila did." Archie noted.

"You have no idea."

"Tell me then." Archie urged Hook. The pirate stood there a moment, then nodded, entering the room.

"Mila...Mila became my everything." Hook said, taking a seat on an overturned barrel that was situated across from Archie's bench. "I loved her, and she loved me."

"But she was married?"

"Unhappily so." Hook answered. "To a sniveling coward of a man, who didn't deserve her, or the family she gave him." Hook's look was judging, as though trying to gauge the doctor's reaction. "Do you think me terrible, to break up a family like that?"

"Mine is not to judge, merely to help one continue on their life's path in the best way possible."

""Maybe if I had a cricket's guidance then, I could have avoided the tragedy that befell us." Hook mused. "Then again, I doubt I would have listened to some bug over her. Even before I loved her, she was quite good at persuading me otherwise." He let out an unhappy laugh. "There's little that can compete with a determined woman's charms. And there was no one as determined as Mila was in those days."

"Determined?"

"She wanted to escape her life. She wanted out of an unhappy marriage, but didn't want to end up a beggar or a whore in the process. She saw me as that way out, and I was happy to oblige her, considering what she offered in return. We weren't meant to fall in love. We weren't going to be anything more than a means to an end for each other."

"Love is unpredictable." noted Archie. "And almost unstoppable once it's course has been set."

"Don't I know it." complained Hook. "Before I had realized it, I was already gone to that emotion. I was head over heels with it, and happy about it. And she was the same. We were to be each others' happily ever after. We should have lived and loved, and grown old together. And we would have, if not for HIM."

"Him?" There could be only one person with which Hook spoke of with such a venomous tone. "Rumplestiltskin?"

"Aye." Hook gave the slightest of nods. "Since I had last seen him, he had gained power as the Dark One. He was no longer weak, and that made him bold. Bold enough to challenge and nearly kill me. If not for Mila..."

"She saved you..." noted Archie.

"Just barely." Hook whispered. "And it wasn't more than a few hours later that she was dead, killed by Rumplestiltskin's own hand."

It all made sense now, why Hook was so intent on killing Rumplestiltskin. "I'm sorry." Archie said out loud.

"You're not the first person to say that to me." Hook retorted. "And all the sorrys in the world won't change what has happened. Rumplestiltskin ripped out and crushed her heart in a fit of jealous rage. It might as well have been my heart that had been crushed that day, considering what it cost me to lose Mila in that way."

"I can't begin to imagine the pain you must have felt..."

"I still feel it." Hook whispered. Archie gave him a sympathetic look, to which Hook sneered at. "And don't be feeling sorry for me. It's not me you should be worrying about."

"Then who?" Asked Archie. "Who is she...this woman you fear for."

"Can't guess, can you?" Hook gave him a bitter smile. "I don't blame you. She's not what I was expecting, not at all what I would have chosen for myself. Not that I was looking, mind you. I've kept myself dedicated to Mila, to the memory of her and our love."

"Now don't be thinking I was as chaste as a priest." Hook added with a wave of his hand. "A man has needs, a pirate even more so. But those women were mere tools, a quick release to built up lusts. I never once felt like I was betraying Mila, to lay with one of them."

"But this woman is different?" Hook became increasingly agitated at Archie's question, the pirate rising to pace about the room.

"I don't want her to be!" He exclaimed. "I don't want to like her, I don't want to worry about her, or feel bad when she cries! I don't want to care, and yet I find myself doing exactly that!"

"What's wrong with caring?" Archie asked.

"Aside from the fact it's going to get HER killed?" Hook asked then hesitated. "It's...it's a betrayal."

"A betrayal? Of who?"

"Of Mila." An instant answer from Hook, his eyes flashing with guilt.

"But Mila is dead..." A confused Archie pointed out.

"That doesn't mean..." Hook paused, then ran his hand through his hair. "I shouldn't...that is...it's wrong."

"Wrong?"

I loved-LOVE Mila." Hook was insistent, as though trying to convince himself that that love wasn't in danger of becoming part of the past. "I shouldn't want, shouldn't need anyone else. I certainly shouldn't be having these thoughts and feelings, this unwarranted attraction. An attraction to the worst possible person!"

"How have you dealt with attraction in the past?" Hook's silence gave Archie an awful suspicion. "There has been other ladies you've been attracted to, right?"

"Not like this. Not even close." Hook groaned. "No one has come close to achieving what she does. No one has even had the chance to try."

"What does that mean?" Archie asked.

Hook almost looked flustered. "It wasn't as if I let others have the opportunity to be more than a quick fuck. And it wasn't as if I was wanting to live after getting my revenge on Rumplestiltskin..."

"Are you telling me you shunned the chance at other relationships?" Archie was shocked when Hook gave a sheepish nod. "Hook..."

"I didn't want any other woman. I didn't want a replacement, and I didn't want to forget Mila or the love we had shared. And I didn't."

"You don't have to forget the love you had with Mila, in order to be happy with another woman." Archie pointed out.

"You don't understand..."

"No, but I am trying too." Archie said. The doubting look Hook fixed the doctor with, while fierce wasn't enough to keep Archie from talking. "To love another, to find happiness, it doesn't mean..."

"It's wrong!" Hook hissed with total conviction.

"Wrong how?"

Hook's mouth opened and closed, a silent sputter as though the man couldn't think of the right words to say. His good hand made a fist, going white knuckled in the process of how tightly Hook held it closed.

"SHe was-IS my everything."

Archie couldn't help but notice that for one brief moment, Hook had spoken of Mila in the past tense. "You're clinging to a ghost, Hook. That's no way to live." Archie then gasped, the pirate having shot across the room, the sharp metal of his hook pressing it's tip against the soft flesh of the doctor's throat.

"Don't talk to me about living!" Hook growled. "If not for her memory, the purpose her murder has given me, I have nothing left!"

"Let's pretend for a second that that is true, that you don't have this other woman waiting on you." Archie was bravely trying to keep from shaking as he stared into the violent tempest that was brewing in Hook's eyes. "Whose fault is it, that you have nothing?"

Hook frowned, as though not understanding the question.

"You let your life all but end when she was killed." Archie pointed out in a soft, gentle tone. "You stopped existing for anything but avenging her. You've shunned other relationships, probably passed out on opportunities that could have seen you be happy."

"Because I don't deserve to be happy!" Hook suddenly bellowed, and tore away from the doctor.

Shaken, Archie kept a calm demeanor as he asked why. "Why do you think that? What reason could you possible have, for thinking you don't deserve the chance for happiness?"

Quite clearly in a state of anguish, Hook ran his good hand through his dark hair. "There are so many things I did wrong that day, so many chances that could have changed what happened, could have prevented her death. I could have stayed on the ship, I could have not gone to that tavern, I could have used the bean at once."

Archie couldn't help but be curious about the bean Hook had mentioned, but the pirate was still speaking, actually pacing about the small room. "Maybe if I had been better with my sword...maybe..."

"Maybe what?" Archie asked at Hook's silence.

"Maybe if I hadn't loved her..." Hook's expression tightened. "She wouldn't have died that day."

"It's starting to sound as though you blame yourself as much as you blame Rumplestiltskin for her death."

Hook didn't quite scoff at that, his expression bleak as he turned towards the doctor. "Wouldn't you, if you were me?"

"I'm not sure." Came Archie's honest answer. "There are a lot of circumstances to consider, and neither you nor Rumplestiltskin are alone responsible for what happened that day. I don't know many of the details, but I suspect that even Mila herself, was not a complete innocent in all this."

"She was a married woman after all." Hook agreed. "Quick to turn her back and then abandon her family for a chance at a better life. But that doesn't mean she was deserving to die!"

"There are few people in this world truly deserving of that." Archie told him. "And even the most wicked I would argue just need a chance to try and redeem themselves."

"You sound like her." Hook grumbled. "Believing in redemption and second chances."

"Mila?" Archie asked, and Hook barked out sharp no.

"God, no! I meant Belle."

Archie's eyes went wide at that, his face paling. "Belle?!" He all but squeaked out. "Belle is this woman you've been alluding to?"

"Makes a fucked up situation, even worse, doesn't it?" Hook asked without humor to his tone. "Even if I could act on this...this attraction between us without guilt tearing me up, why would I dare risk history repeating itself?"

Archie couldn't' even stammer out a response, knowing Hook was right. It was, to use the pirate's words, a fucked up situation, and things would indeed get worse if something, anything should happen between Hook and Belle. The problem was the doctor had a gut feeling that screamed that something already had, that things were stalled from going even further only because of Hook's memories and guilt over Mila.

A conscience didn't always know what to do. Archie knew that well. A conscience could and did make mistakes, and the doctor knew it would be wrong to advise Hook to pursue a relationship with Belle. With yet another woman who was for all intents and purposes, Rumplestiltskin's.

But he had the feeling it wasn't as clear cut and dry as that, to tell Hook to stay away from Belle. Not when he was certain Hook hadn't been forcing himself on the woman, not when Hook had such guilt holding him back from pursuing a relationship that was in any way meaningful.

It left Archie wondering if there was any way possible that Belle might be feeling that same kind of attraction that the pirate felt for her. And if she did, would it be wrong to discourage the two from a relationship, even with the risks Rumplestiltskin posed to them all? He truly didn't know, Archie troubled and not sure who if anyone he could help in this situation. But he intended to try, provided he could get enough facts to make an informed decision.

"Tell me everything." Archie said, that everything encompassing Hook's relationships with Mila, Rumplestiltskin, AND Belle. The fact that he had spoken in such an authorative way, combined with Hook's need to unburden himself, was the breaking point on Hook's pent up thoughts and feelings. Without so much as a protest, Hook began talking, telling Archie what had to be nearly every sordid detail of a life spanning several hundred years.

To Be Continued...

Long time no update. Oh God,...this chapter about at the 16 kb point started going all wrong. I'm not completely happy with it, cause I couldn't figure out how to do this without it upsetting what I thought would happen for nine. So right now I don't know what the heck is gonna happen in nine, save that it should be a Hook POV. Probably.

Speaking of point of views, this chapter was as big a surprise to me as it probably is to the readers, to get an Archie POV. I had no plans for an Archie POV when I was first writing this story, not until I tried to write this chapter (Which got the first 16 kb written three weeks ago. X_X That's how long I've been trying to write the chapter to completion.). It was supposed to be a Hook POV, but I kept envisioning Archie's thoughts instead for the opening, and the more I thought about it, the more it seemed to make sense to do an Archie's interlude.

Also since I was rereading, I've gone and corrected Baelfire's name to the proper spelling. He wasn't mentioned by full name in most of this story, so it wasn't too much work. Gonna be uploading the updated chapter files after this is posted!

-Michelle

K-milah, aw that was super sweet to read. And hopefully this update will also make you smile when you get the notice in your email! Things have been kinda hectic, and I was feeling fic burnout. I guess I really needed a break from wriitng, though now I feel all anxious to get back into the midst of fics!

Yes, I too was rather surprised how cool she was with the info that Rumple killed his wife. I mean she should have been terrified even just a little...it makes her seem foolish or suffering stockholme syndrme big time, to not even bat an eye at it in the show. And I enjoy seeing her have some jealousy, and sexual sinful awareness of Hook and what she wants from our captain! XD

Sn-46, oh thank you! :D Always glad to hear something like that! Oh man, I remember when they advertised the Hook introduction episode. I don't know about you, but here they said in the ad meet the man who is even more evil than Rumplestiltskin. What the hell?! D: There shouldn't be so much Hook hate, he's not the only one that did wrong in the Rumple-Mila-Killian triangle situation. Sure he ran off with a married man's wife, but I think Rumple killing her in cold blood because she said she had never loved him, a confession Rumplestiltskin goaded her into in the first place, well murder is worse than adultry in my view.

Yes, it was kinda terrible to have them have Belle so accepting of what he did to his own wife. Unless they had been intending to have her be pretending she was okay with it, cause she was scared of it happening to her...but the last episode pretty much shows that's not the case. She really was okay with it, cause he's a different person now. 0_o I think Belle must have one heck of a stockholme syndrome thing going with Rumplestiltskin. Hoo boy...*face palm*

XMS Black EyelinerX, thank you! I'm enjoying the sexual tension angst too. :D Sorry for the long wait I put on you between this chapter and the last one. Various reasons, but I really want to be able to work on this story more. So I'm trying my best to do that!

Ilikepie1014, thanks! Finally a new chapter too. Hope you like!

Ravengirl07. oh thank you! That made me so happy to hear. :)


	9. Chapter 9

He must have talked for hours, something inside him bursting so that the memories and the feelings that went along with them, came flooding out. Hook held little back, sharing with Archie the highs and the many lows brought on by a life ruined by love. By the loss of it.

At times the doctor actually blushed, Hook perhaps being a bit too explicit about Mila and the lusty way they had loved each other and life. Hook told the cricket things that would have normally seen the man dead, the pirate shedding the need for secrets and privacy in an effort to unburden himself. But he wasn't seeking approval or absolution, instead answering a once unrecognized need to talk to someone, anyone about all that had happened.

Several hundred years worth of memories were crammed into the hours that passed. The cricket listened to them all, even the ones that didn't seem worth mentioning. The memories most worthwhile to Hook were of the time surrounding Mila, the meeting of her, the loving of her, even the death and grieving of her. It wasn't a surprise to Hook that he had never stopped his grieving, mourning Mila for over three hundred years including right up to this day.

What WAS surprising, was the fact that his life hadn't had many noteworthy incidents following Mila's horrific murder. Hook, who was driven by his need for revenge, hadn't been living, existing more as a shell of his former self than as the man who had once loved life, the sea, and a multitude of women.

He might as well have been sunk to the bottom of the ocean, right alongside his Mila, for all Hook had done over the course of several lifetimes. Yes there were moments, a few bits of excitement among the otherwise bland, but those had been far and few in between. Most days he had just drifted aimlessly, barely able to keep it together long enough to be a captain to his crew.

For hundreds of years, Hook had done nothing but wallow in misery and regrets. The only true time he had come alive, was when in pursuit of some knowledge or artifact that might give him the key to Rumplestiltskin's demise. Every failed quest had left him further depressed, his revenge seeming even more impossible than before.

This pattern would continue, long bouts of depression and grief, broken up by shorts bursts of something that wasn't quite hope. It wasn't excitement either that filled him when Hook had a lead on something that might give him the leverage he needed to take on Rumplestiltskin, but he became more animated all the same. Shifting obsessions from that of the past and Mila, to being obsessed with acquiring whatever new thing he had learned of.

Nearly all the leads and information he pursued were false, dead ends that did nothing but waste Hook's time. Frustration colored his grief, Hook angry and antagonizing his long suffering crew. But they had been in it for the long haul, putting up with much in the hopes that one day their captain would regain his former spark, and that they would finally be able to leave the forsaken realm of Neverland.

That time seemed as though it would never come. Never until Hook got a most promising lead, learning of the one thing said to be able to destroy the Dark One. A special, one of a kind dagger. There wasn't much more information to be had about the dagger than that. Certainly there was no talk of where it could be found, or the repercussions that came from it's use.

The source more than reliable, Hook had finally allowed his ship to leave Neverland's waters, to return to the Enchanted realms' kingdoms. The lands there had been much changed, along with it's people. Time while kind to the development of the kingdoms, had not been as nice to the lives of the common people. Most of those in power were tyrants and despots, wicked beings who ruled with an iron fist. Those few who were good leaders, kind and just, were under the constant threat of war, poverty, and famine.

There was one such kingdom that had been on the verge of total annihilation by the ogres. Hook might not have mustered up reason to care for that, except for the connection Rumplestiltskin was rumored to have with that kingdom's princess. The deal the Dark One had brokered in exchange for the kingdom's enduring prosperity and salvation, while simple in nature, was heartbreaking to the king and his people.

Hook wasn't sure WHY Rumplestiltskin had demanded the princess as his payment. But he had heard all the rumors surrounding her, and the nature of the princess' relationship with Rumplestiltskin. Not often seen, the few times Rumplestiltskin had taken her out of the cage he had locked her in, had proved memorable. Enough so that Hook began to hope that if anyone knew where Rumplestiltskin had hidden the dagger, the princess would be that person.

It took time to track her down, Hook impatient for every second of all those long months of searching. It didn't seem strange that when Smee did finally find her, the princess was locked in an evil queen's prison tower. Hook hadn't known for sure why the evil queen had wanted her, but that she had, was enough to convince the pirate of the princess' worth.

Disbanding his crew, Hook had snuck into the tower on his own. It was little effort to kill the soldier that stood guard before the princess' cell, and even easier to play the dashing rogue hero come to rescue the princess. Even then Hook had been struck by her beauty, although then Belle had meant little to him, save as a means to Rumplestiltskin's end.

Feelings now warped his memories of that first meeting between them, Hook able to look back and shudder. To feel ashamed for what he had done, for what he had considered doing. Back then it would have been easy to hurt her, and indeed Hook had come close to doing just that. Now he felt shame and embarrassment, downright horrified at his behavior even as Hook remembered the white hot bitterness and disappointments that had surged through him upon realizing that Belle not only knew nothing, but was actively refusing to help him.

Frustration had been the least of the emotions Hook had felt then. He had been disbelieving, downright angry that yet another lead had gone nowhere. Already mad with his grief, he almost went insane upon the realization that not only would Belle not help him, the woman was foolishly in LOVE with the monster. Hook had looked at Belle, and seen Rumplestiltskin's undeserved happily ever after staring back at him. It hadn't seemed fair, and Hook had lashed out not with any purpose in mind but to dash it.

Actually cringing as he recounted to the cricket how the back of his hand had slapped across Belle's cheek, Hook had shifted in unease, moving to pace about the room in agitation. Remembering the feel of the blow connecting, the sound of it, and her cry. Actually seeing the ghost of her past, crumpling backwards, Belle landing on the bed. It didn't matter to Hook that he had been insane then, inconsolable and crazed with so many negative emotions. All he could focus on was what Belle meant to him now, what she was coming to be. What he had almost destroyed in his quest for revenge, what he might still destroy if Hook allowed this thing between him and Belle to go any farther.

His agitation was worse for the fact his guilt wasn't as strong as his regrets. Hook longed for what couldn't be, for the chance he could have had with Belle by his side. For wanting to try for it, damning the reasons against it, even as a part of him recoiled. Rumplestiltskin and Mila both stood ready as obstacles, and Hook readily admitted he didn't know which of the two held stronger. Rumplestiltskin for his quick and ready way to keep what was his, even if it meant destroying it in the process. Or Mila, the ghost of her haunting Hook, his devotion and love warped to the point it seemed inconceivable to actually pursue a life worth living.

He was being torn in all directions, his wants and desires in direct conflict, Hook thinking he knew the right course and yet rebelling against it after so long. Unable to reconcile the thought of new wants with a need that had been pressing, all consuming, driving him for hundreds of years. Goading him towards a endgame that would only stop with Hook dead, revenge determined to be tried for, and regardless of its outcome, Hook not having expected to even considering living after it. To live, or even want to live, let alone be happy, were all concepts that were foreign to him, might even be considered wrong by the pirate. Now clashing against the longings stirred by Belle, turning his insides to stone and leaving him frozen in tortured indecision.

He told all this to the conscience, almost desperate for Archie to somehow approve a course for him. As if the conscience could find a way to navigate the murky waters of all of Hook's feelings, make the decision for him one way or another. And yet the problem would have remained, Hook torn between his past and his present, unable to grasp the future that was in reach.

The conscience for his part was attentive, listening without truly judging, neither disgusted by or pitying Hook. He spoke little those first few hours, letting Hook talk as much as he liked. Archie became privy to Hook's pain, to his every thought both private and public, to every detail both good and bad. Archie heard things Hook had never been able to admit to out loud, to things he hadn't even begun to try to tell Belle. He made careful observations, startling Hook into small realizations he hadn't been willing to admit to before.

Not all the realizations were easy or kind. Hook didn't like the fact he had retreated into his grief, until the pain had become a crutch, one he couldn't face life without. He had let it twist and mold him, until Hook was locked in limbo, unable to die, but too afraid to live on his own.

And yet for all his fear, he had never once sought out true companionship. No wanting to replace Mila, not knowing how to be near a woman without betraying the love he had for his murdered lover. Hook was an all or nothing kind of guy, the proof of it showing in how he had devoted his entire being and heart to Mila and the memory of her. Hook wasn't sure he knew how to love another, not without losing himself totally to them, Mila cast aside.

He had shunned women for so long, holding them at a distance, using them just for their bodies, or in Cora's case, for the help she had represented in leading Hook ever closer to completing his revenge. Belle was proving unique, causing Hook to want more from her than just her body, and revenge. She tempted Hook in ways no other woman had, making him want to let go of his pain and suffering, yet causing great guilt in him for forgetting even one second to hold on tighter to them.

The temptations of Belle, the wants and desires she caused Hook to feel, the conflicts they caused within him, tore Hook up nearly as bad as his grief over Mila. They very qualities he admired in Belle, Hook regretted, the pirate wishing she wasn't such a bright, charming, beautiful and kind woman. Wishing she was a vain and shallow princess, wishing she hadn't been so bound and determined to help both Hook and Rumplestiltskin.

And yet Hook couldn't regret as much as he should, the talking with her, and the strong attraction he felt for her. He LIKED Belle, and that much seemed impossible to change, even if it meant that liking was casting them both closer to ruin.

As was every sexually charged encounter, every stolen kiss, and hardly innocent touch. They were having a corrupting influence on each other, making them desire things that they shouldn't. Hook knew he should stay away from Belle, that there was no way he could offer her the kind of future that she deserved. And that was before one even took into account the danger that was Rumplestiltskin. Courting death, Hook knew he shouldn't bring Belle down with him, no matter the temptations she offered. He actually bemoaned the fact out loud, rubbing at his face with his hand. Wondering how things could have become so messy so quickly, how he could have fallen so fast to want Belle so badly and she him!

It was with that said, his tone almost accusing, that Hook looked to Archie for an answer. Wanting, needing validation for feelings he was already sure were wrong, Hook expected the good doctor to advise him to stay far, far away from Belle. But the expression Archie showed him wasn't anywhere as troubling as his words, the cricket speaking in a kindly tone as he told Hook what the pirate was feeling, was good. That it was actually healthy, perhaps the first step towards healing Hook had ever truly allowed himself.

It wasn't easy for Hook to hear, though in part he knew he was damaged. And still he laughed, shaking with the sound, as he glared at the conscience. "I don't want to be healed!"

"Is it that you don't want to be healed, or because you fear it?"

Archie's question earned the doctor another glare, Hook practically scowling at the man. "A dead man fears nothing."

"You're not dead yet." Archie pointed out wryly. "And you've already spoken significantly on at least one fear."

Once Hook would have killed for less than what Archie was now implying. But now? After sharing his pain and the history of a life that hadn't been worth living? Hook hesitated, giving the doctor wary permission to continue.

"Belle." The doctor said. "She's the focal point of much of what you feel, including what you're afraid of. You fear the feelings she arouses in you, the betrayal you think you're committing because of those same feelings. Yet you also fear for Belle herself, for what Rumplestiltskin might do. You even fear losing her, that the past will be repeated."

"Won't it be?" His agitation showed, Hook rising to stand. To pace about the small room, feeling as though it's walls were closing in, that he was running out of air. "Rumplestiltskin's a killer on his BEST days. If Belle were to try to leave him..."

"You can't know that to be true." protested the conscience. "Rumplestiltskin has had time to mature, to learn from his mistakes. Belle has been a very good influence on him..he's changed..."

"Are you willing to stake her life on that?" Hook interrupted. "Because I am not."

"Then why haven't you sent her away, Hook?" demanded Archie. "Why keep her here, if you know every second spent together, brings her closer to being killed?"

"It's not like she's eager to return to Rumplestiltskin." Hook knew he was on the defensive, his tone angry. "Especially now that she knows the truth about him."

"She may want to stay, but ultimately you could make her leave." retorted Archie. "But you don't. Face it Hook, you're looking for every reason to keep her here. And it has nothing to do with your revenge, or even just because you want to have sex with her."

"Then what does it have to do with?!" Hook demanded with a sneer. "Tell me cricket, since you think you know everything!"

"Not everything." Archie corrected cooly. "I just know what I hear, what you've told me and not, the things unspoken that linger between the lines. Hook, you want Belle here, because there is a part of you, a part you've buried for so long, that wants to be happy. That wants a second chance at love and happily ever after."

"No."

"You've been fighting it ever since Mila died. Using your grief, your guilt, even your revenge to hide from the thing you fear most. You're scared, you haven't wanted to live life without her, without anyone, and yet you made sure you ended up all alone. I'm sure you think it's better to not have anyone, than risk losing them again. But you're wrong! Part of what makes life special, is knowing how fragile it is. It's holding onto those special moments, to the special people in your life, making the most of your time with them."

"It hurts." Hook admitted out loud.

"Of course it does." Agreed Archie. "But we can't let that keep us from continuing, to living life to it's fullest."

Hook could recognize the truth of what the doctor was saying, could recognize how he had done exactly what the doctor had just said not to. Hook had stopped himself, not just from loving another, but from actually living. He had become a shell, hollowed out from his grief, fearing not just because he had lost Mila, but actively scared to try again and risk losing someone else precious to him. The very idea of losing someone a second time to circumstances beyond his control, it left Hook terrified. Not just for the person in question, but for himself, Hook not wanting to be hurt that badly ever again.

He almost started laughing out loud, sick with a twisted amusement at what he had done. What he was setting himself up for. That he had fought so long to keep from being hurt again, and yet here he now was, actively lusting after the worst choice possible. And it wasn't like he was able to stop, not with Belle affecting him so badly. He wanted her, liked her beyond the sex he could see them having together. He had let himself get close to her, actually feel things he had avoided with women for several hundred years. In a way Hook had set himself up when he had shunned all relationships. It made a sick sense that he would become fascinated with the first woman he had had a real moment with. Hook had connected with Belle, as wrong and unbelievable as it was, had grabbed for her like she was a lifeline amidst the sea he had been drowning in. And nothing was working to stop it, stop him, not even the threat of Rumplestiltskin, or even the ghost of his past with Mila.

Hook was finally coming alive, the man he had pretended to be FINALLY thawing out. Actually melting just from being near Belle, just from allowing her to invade his thoughts. He was still far from being healed, still had survivor's guilt that left him scrambling in an attempt to devote himself to Mila's memory. He might even be starting to become aware that it was wrong, that Mila wouldn't have wanted him to die or spend the remainder of his life unhappy. He wasn't completely at the point of accepting it, but he was getting closer. And that was danger of a different kind, Hook knowing he shouldn't be anywhere near Belle when the last of his barriers fell. And they WOULD fall, were already in the midst of crumbling apart and nothing would stop the decline. He'd be in for one hell of a heartbreak, Hook knowing for certain that once he got over his emotional hang ups, he would no longer be able to truly resist the attraction he felt for Belle. And heaven help them all when that happened.

To Be Continued...

So I want to thank SN-46 and my friend Huntress for talking with me about this fic. Sorry gals, I haven't actually used much of anything we chatted about. Maybe in the future! But Huntress did suggest one thing, an angle I hadn't thought of at all. An angle I feel a little stupid for not thinking of on my own, and that was that Hook needs to realize that Mila would want him to be happy, to move on after she had died.

I was very stuck on this chapter. I actually wrote the first 11 KB back in the end of JUNE. Was stuck for quite a while, then got detoured with other fics in the Once universe. Part of why I stopped was when I was stuck on this chapter, it was starting to look like I underestimated how hurt Hook is in this fic! It was making me think I had to redo nearly all my plans, or at the very list my schedule, my event sequence. Now with the second half of this chapter, I am feeling more confidant and hopeful that maybe I don't have to completely replan the rest of the fic! I might not even have to do a lot of rearranging!

So yeah, feeling more confidant now. Maybe now I'll be able to get more of this one done. I would ideally like ten to be a Belle POV. But it might end up a double POV, switching back and forth between her and Hook's thoughts.

-Michelle

Kendra Luehr, oh thank you! The funny thing is enough time has gone by, that I'm not even sure why I was so unhappy. Unless it was having to do with me worrying even back then, that I had to maybe replan the rest of the fic because Hook was that damaged. XD Thanks again, and sorry for such a long wait!

Ryunn Kazan, heh I can't wait for season three to come. They can't deny us Hook cause they're on his ship! *spazzes out* Thanks, like knowing I was missed. XD


	10. Chapter 10

There was problems that came from being tied to a bed. No matter how comfortable the mattress, how fluffy the pillows, how utterly seductive the bed's owner was, it ultimately came down to two things. A stiff shoulder pain from her arm being held at an awkward angle for hours on end, and the fact that there was nothing else to do but sit there. And sit there she did, Belle having exhausted herself from attempts to both break free, and to understand just what Hook was about.

It wasn't exactly easy, much of who Hook was still a mystery to her. It was downright startling to realize just how invested she was becoming with a man Belle didn't know nearly enough about. Not even about who he was now, let alone who he had been in the past. Or even who he had been as Killian, the name belonging to a side Hook seemed quick to discard. It wasn't one Belle would ignore, the woman wanting to know all of Hook. Both the good and the bad, but especially about things that had little to do with Mila and his revenge. Not that she wanted to discount the woman of his past, the highs and lows of his relationship with Rumplestiltskin's wife, but Belle was also determined to not let Mila and the pain her death had caused Hook, be the only thing that defined him. Because no person was an island, their life and personality set by a single instant. Hook might want to believe he was nothing more than a man driven for revenge, but Belle knew better. She had after all seen a glimpse inside his soul, brief flickers during the pirate's more unguarded moments. And yes, there was a lot of pain there, but there was also other things she had briefly caught sight of.

A lot of it had to do with the attraction that was hitting them both so strongly. Hook desired her, of that Belle were certain. He wanted her with a fierce longing that took even him by surprise, a longing that sometimes made him angry. With himself and with her, Belle having experienced first hand the way Hook had tried to hide behind anger and glares, giving her the most hostile of looks that Belle had been unprepared for, let alone able to understand at the time.

Belle still couldn't say she understood the reason behind those looks. Not completely. But Belle was developing theories, and not all of them had to do with one that had Hook fearing her fate at Rumplestiltskin's hands. Yes, Hook did fear a repeat of the past happening, that Rumplestiltskin might choose to kill Belle for daring to like another. But aside from that, Hook at times ran from hot to cold and back again, as though angry over the attraction he felt for Belle. She couldn't in any way be sure without getting a confirmation from Hook's own lips, but Belle was starting to wonder if he felt some kind of guilt over the feelings he was having for her. Feelings Belle was certain were there, small buds waiting to blossom into something more, feelings Hook was fighting against.

Simply put, Belle felt certain Hook cared for her more than just for the physical. If he had just wanted sex from her, or to use her against Rumplestiltskin as a means of revenge, why Belle was positive they would have already given into the desire that grew between them. But they hadn't, though they had come close that one time. If not for that interruption, one Hook hadn't bothered to explain about, Belle wondered just how far they really would have gone then. And the fact that Hook hadn't tried to continue where they had left off, well that made Belle all the more certain that he viewed her as more than just the latest in his bed, to be used and discarded.

Of course they had had a talk, though it had helped little with the problems facing them. Rumplestiltskin was still considered a threat, dangerous for what he might do, and Hook still clung stubbornly to his quest for revenge. Worse yet, Hook actually spoke on dying, regardless of the ultimate outcome of his bid for revenge! The very idea was appalling, Belle's heart protesting the idea of the pirate dying. Perhaps it protested more than was healthy, Belle having noted it hurt her, the thought of a world without Hook in it. And that was troubling in a different way, Belle wondering how in the world she could have grown so attached, so invested in Hook and his well being in so short a time.

Belle liked to consider herself a practical woman. One who didn't fall in love OR lust at first sight, no matter how handsome and good a kisser a man might be. Of course it wasn't like she had a lot of experience kissing anyone but Rumplestiltskin, and certainly that sweet feelings she had once had for him, didn't compare to the wild, downright demanding sexual longings that were being awakened by Hook. It was still troubling, Belle not sure how she could have had her whole world flipped upside down with just a few kisses, but it had happened all the same. Belle was desperately, undeniably in lust with the captain, LIKED him, and could easily fall in love with him if she just gave herself permission to go that far.

Not that she felt free to do that. Not with Rumplestiltskin an uncertain factor on her future. Belle couldn't help but wonder if part of the reason she had begun to feel so strongly for Hook, had to do with what he had told her. That the unexpected sucker punch of learning Rumplestiltskin had murdered in cold blood the wife he had loved, the wife who had given him his beloved son, well if that hadn't played a part in breaking down Belle's normal defenses against a man. She had after all, been so shocked, so horrified, and the reveal had been such that Belle had practically felt traumatized by the thought of Rumplestiltskin doing such a thing.

Of course she had never truly considered that Hook might be lying to her in that regard. She had seen his pain, seen the look in his eyes, heard the break in his voice as he talked about how Rumplestiltskin had ripped out his-Mila's heart, and crushed it before Hook's eyes. One didn't fake such pain, not even an accomplished actor could lie in such a way. And with Rumplestiltskin being so evasive on the details of how Mila had died, and Hook so determined for revenge, the truths the pirate has given her, made sense.

And thus, even though Belle was aware that things were happening too fast, the danger, combined with the awful truth along with a most potent attraction shared between them, she found herself falling out of that naive love for Rumplestiltskin, and longing for Hook in ways she had never for any other man. The danger might even play a part in her desires, because if there was one thing she had learned from this world's books, it was that danger often made for exciting bed fellows. How many times had she read about people, men and women who shouldn't be together for whatever reason, but were because they were in a dangerous situation? A situation where one or both would die? And here she was, facing an uncertain future, with Hook who seemed determined to die!

She didn't know Hook's reasons, not for his death wish, or his attraction to her, but Belle could recognize what she was feeling. Even as she looked towards a future she was sure she no longer wanted, a future where she would have to stay with Rumplestiltskin out of a sense of self preservation, Belle was wanting Hook. She knew she couldn't allow herself to fall in love with him, but she couldn't stop from being tempted for other things. The least of which being the desire to make a good memory with him, something to cherish and sustain her through the years at Rumplestiltskin's side.

Pushing aside the realization that she wanted Hook to be her first lover, Belle was also wanting to help the pirate. To heal him and give him back his reason to live. She wasn't sure where to begin though, and it wasn't as if she had much to go on from what she did know about him. At times she feared his pain ran too deep, that it was too much for one person, for Belle alone to help heal. But she'd try all the same, actually do just about anything that she could to not only soothe his pain, but rid him of it.

Belle hadn't yet realized that part of Hook's pain was his guilt. A guilt that was focused in part on her. On the feelings she roused in him, in the future she made him want to wish for. Even with her reexamining the conversations that they had had, she hadn't yet figured out just which of her words had had Hook reacting so strongly. Nor did she know that Hook was in the middle of a significant break of his own, thanks in part to a certain cricket's willingness to listen to him.

What Belle did know was that Hook had been gone for quite some time, enough of it passing for her to not only think, but nap and rub her wrist raw trying to get free of the manacle around it. She had one arm free, but it did her little good with nothing but pillows near enough for her to reach. And Belle had examined the manacle a dozen times over, and had not been able to figure out the secret to it's unlocking. But she was starting to believe Hook kept her tied to his bed, not because he feared she'd run, which she wouldn't, but because he in part feared HER. Feared what she would do, how she would follow after him, and pursue either their mutual attraction, or try to pick at his pain in an attempt to help heal his hurt. Belle couldn't even deny that she wouldn't do both those things, because the impulse to kiss Hook was as strong as her desire to help him, even when she was at her most exasperated with him.

And she was feeling pretty exasperated by the time Hook finally deigned to return to her, the man waltzing in through he door, carrying a plate of something that smelled good. Belle's nostrils flared as she caught that rich, appetite wetting smell, though she tried her best to give Hook an annoyed look.

Hook appeared unfazed, perhaps knowing what he carried was too tempting a prize for Belle to remain angry with him. And indeed he could have brought just about anything before her, and provided it was edible, she would have forgave him. But the tray he carried, was more than just bread and water, but a variety of things she hadn't had the chance to smell let alone taste in just over twenty eight years.

Her mouth could have watered as she scented the fruity jam made of a berry that had no similar counterpart here in Storybrooke. A berry that had been among her favorites, one used in quite a number of delicacies besides the jam Hook carried. It made her remember that Hook and his ship had come from the Enchanted Realm, and Belle couldn't stop from wondering just what sort of things he had brought with him on his journey to Storybrooke.

Hook may not have realized the treasure he placed before her on the bed, his amused expression holding more to do with the fact he knew she was hungry than the fact that he brought with him things that one simply couldn't find in Storybrooke. Things some might be willing to pay huge sums of money for, Belle reaching for the clear glass jar of red jam whose lid had already been removed.

Not caring at all about manners, Belle dipped two fingers inside the jar, scooping up a thick amount of jam. She actually moaned at the sweet taste of it, not realizing how sexual, how satisfied she sounded until Hook nearly dropped the tray. The blush started immediately, Belle holding his gaze almost defiantly as she licked her fingertips clean.

Hook swallowed slowly, his voice sounding hoarse as he asked her if it was good.

"Oh yes." Belle breathed out, not sure what she wanted more of. The jam or the way Hook looked at her, Belle giving him the smallest of smiles. "This berry has always been my favorite." And the look Hook wore, made Belle think he was filing that tidbit away for future use.

And then just like that, Belle was thinking of all the creative ways the jam could be used, none of those uses having to do with the making and preparing of food, and everything to do with drizzling it over body parts. Her flushed face grew hotter, her imagination attempting to get away from her. But then Belle HAD basically decided she wanted Hook to give her her first sexual experience, even if she wasn't exactly sure how to go about making it happen. Nor was she entirely content to wait and see if Hook would make a move on her, especially given how conflicted the pirate was about his own desires where Belle was concerned. It made her uncertain it would ever happen, especially if Hook's hang ups continued to hold him back.

It left her wondering how she would seduce him into it, Belle knowing she wasn't exactly experienced when it came to men. The time she had tried with Rumplestiltskin, had ended in the most spectacular of failures, her simple kiss making the man angry for what he had thought she had been trying to do. He had seen it as a betrayal, a trick, Rumplestiltskin assuming Belle was trying to steal his power, rather than recognize the kiss for what it had really been. True love's attempt to break a curse he hadn't been anywhere ready to give up.

Burned by that experience, it wasn't like Belle had actively been trying to do anything with Rumplestiltskin, at least not of her own initiative. She had let herself hang back, telling herself to be content with whatever crumbs of affection the man might show her. What she had been starving for, Belle was now glad to have gone without, the woman not wanting to have wasted any more expressions of a misguided, naive love on a man who wasn't in any way worthy of her.

Unable to trust Rumplestiltskin, no longer able to feel safe with him, Belle had fallen out of love with him. She felt foolish for that first love of hers, but not anywhere as much as she would have, had Belle tried for even more with Rumplestiltskin. Holding many regrets, Belle was determined that Hook would not be one of them, the woman wanting him to be the memories that sustained her through a future that would be loveless.

Knowing that no matter what happened, she wouldn't forget this time with Hook, Belle smiled at the pirate. And all the while her mind was running, wondering what to do in order to entice the pirate to her.

"I wasn't sure what you would like." Hook was saying. He had finally glanced away from her, looking down at the tray with it's selection of foods.

"Honestly, I am hungry enough that just about anything will taste good." Belle told him, hardly expecting the guilty look he flashed her.

"My fault." Hook acknowledged. "I've been bad about feeding you..."

"Not just me." Belle held out the jar to him. "Have you even bothered to take care of yourself?"

A slight hesitation, and then Hook's fingers touched hers as he took hold of the jar. "I've had years of practice at that...and just as much practice at neglecting myself too." Hook admitted to her, and Belle felt a sad pressure swell in her chest. "Don't be looking at me that way lass." Hook told her, setting down the jar. "It was my choice to make."

"But still..."

"But nothing. Right or wrong, it was a choice I made." He nudged the tray closer to her, and Belle glanced down for one moment.

"It all looks so good." She said out loud. "But...it would be a lot easier to appreciate, if I had both hands free to enjoy myself."

The hesitation was longer this time. Belle took it as proof that Hook really did fear what she would do if she wasn't in part restrained to the bed. "Please." She entreated to him, already leaning back to lay against the pillows. "I won't go anywhere."

Hook muttered something, the words so soft that Belle couldn't understand them. But at last he moved, coming to loom over her with an uncertain look in his eyes. Belle had to fight not to smile, actually closing her eyes as she waited for Hook to free her from the manacle. He bent close enough that she could feel his shirt brush against her breasts, and Belle knew she could have arched up to steal a kiss from him.

Tempting as that was, Belle was certain it would have gotten BOTH manacles snapped back in place on her wrists, along with Hook bolting from the room. So she behaved herself, finding it incredibly difficult not to pout. Even after she was free of the manacle, and Hook seated across from her, with just enough space for the tray between them, Belle was trying not to pout. She'd quickly busy herself with eating the food, conscious of Hook watching her every action.

She was both too hungry and too inexperienced to make the eating a truly erotic sight, though Belle didn't dispense with niceties to wolf down the meal either. She simply ate as cleanly, as delicately as her hunger would allow, and even Hook occasionally snuck a tidbit from the tray's plate, holding her gaze even when he ate. His mouth ever sensual to her, couldn't distract her from his eyes. The blue of them seemed darker than she remembered, so like an ocean one could drown in. They took in all of her, watching her as carefully as she watched him, before Hook finally nodded to himself.

"I need to apologize."

It was surprising, unexpected, and Belle froze with a breadstick that was covered in a generous amount of jam, halfway to her mouth. "For?" She managed to ask, pleased she didn't sound anywhere as confused as she truly felt.

"For how I've been treating you."

"You haven't exactly treated me bad." Belle protested.

"But I haven't always done right by you either." Hook admitted, looking chagrined. He held up his hand as though to stifle any further protests. "It's more than anything physical, more than a lack of neglecting to feed you. I've been unkind, have made you the focus of my anger."

"You never did anything to truly hurt me..." Belle said quietly, though she remembered the times he had glared at her, had been so angry he came off hostile with just his looks and bearing.

"I've made you cry at least once..." Hook pointed out. "And all because I left you alone to assume the worst..."

"A little bit of tears never hurt anyone." Belle insisted. "And they were more of a relieved nature than anything else."

"Still I shouldn't have...I have no right to lay claim or cause you to cry them." Hook replied.

"It's my choice..." Belle started to say, but then Hook was pressing his finger to her lips, stopping her words with just a touch.

"I've been giving you...both of us the run around. Because of my own confused feelings and pain." Hook said, and suddenly Belle didn't want to speak if it meant he wouldn't stop talking. "For the longest of time, I've been running, hiding from the world. From people, and the hurts that come with them. I told myself it was better to be alone, better because then I wouldn't ever know the kind of pain and loss that I already knew. The kind of hurting that comes only from having a person that you loved, whole heartedly, ripped away from you way too soon."

"I've closed myself off." Hook continued after a moment. "Kept myself from friends, lovers, having any sort of family. I was so scared of being hurt again. I still am..."

"It's understandable." Belle finally dared to speak, and yes, she felt her chest tighten with emotions, felt the tears wet her eyes. "To lose anyone in that way...it's horrific enough when they pass peacefully. Let alone in violence."

Hook gave a small nod. "I still let it haunt me, the pain of her murder, as fresh today as it was then. I've let it control me, let it stop me from living, from even wanting to."

"Is that why you're so adamant you'll die, regardless of what happens with Rumplestiltskin?" Belle asked.

"In part." Hook said. "When you have nothing, even if it's by your own choice..." He gave a shrug of his shoulders. "Revenge has been the only thing I've been living for. Take that way and what do I have left? I wouldn't even know where to begin, how to start my life over, alone as I am."

"But..."

"I didn't even see a point to trying." Hook continued. "Not until...not until you came along."

"Am I to feel guilty for that?" Belle asked, her expression turning defiant. "Because I won't..."

"No, the fault is with me." Hook told her. "For all the stupid things I've done, the way I've burned bridges left and right. I abandoned my friends, isolated myself, and lived only for revenge. I let the memories of Mila, of how I had failed to protect her, freeze me into a half life. I let the fear stop me from trying, but I also let what had happened, make me unable to try again. More than that, I let it torment me, haunt me to the point I felt it was wrong to try for anything more. To try and be happy, let alone happy with someone."

"I was angry with you." Hook said, and Belle couldn't stop her surprise. "I didn't like the feelings you caused in me. That you made me want things beyond the moment, that you made me yearn for the chance for a happy ever after. I saw it as a betrayal, to myself but to Mila as well..."

"I don't think Mila would have wanted you to stop living." Belle pointed out, her tone soft. "A woman that loved you? There is no way that love would twist enough to wish you dead or unhappy."

Hook made an unhappy little sound. "A fact I seemed to miss for all these years. I was so certain I was doing right by her, that I would get revenge for her, and that would be the end for me. Maybe I even thought I was honoring her, being faithful to her memory, by turning my back on life and relationships..."

"But now you don't think that?" Belle asked, and received a slow hesitant nod from Hook.

"It's not easy...not easy at all, to correct my way of thinking. But I am trying..."

"Trying is good." Belle said encouragingly. "And it sounds like you've taken the first steps towards seizing a future for yourself..."

It was an awful moment when Hook hesitated. "I'm trying, but I don't know if I CAN give up on revenge..."

"Hook..."

"I know going after Rumplestiltskin will probably end with me dead." Hook ran an agitated hand over his hair. "Part of me thinks it's only fair. That I've earned my fate, after all the bad things I've done in the name of revenge."

"No...NO!" Belle protested, her tears threathening to spill. She was suddenly leaning forward, grabbing at his hand, holding it as though she would anchor him in place with her touch. "You can' t think like that...I won't let you..."

"Belle..."

"I couldn't bear it!" She exclaimed, not caring that she sounded half hysterical. "I couldn't stand the thought of a world without you in it..."

"You'd be about the only one..."

"We can change that!" Belle snapped. "We can make it that you're not all alone, that you have friends, people to care what happens to you, and you them!"

"WE?" Hook questioned sharply, causing Belle to flush in response. "Belle, lass, you know Rumplestiltskin would never allow you to continue to associate with me, even if he doesn't kill me for what I've tried to do."

"I..." She did know that, but it hurt all the same. "I don't care." She finally, defiantly stated. "I would rather..."

"You should care!" Hook was jerking free of her weak hold. "Any continued involvement, any strong feeling for me, it's going to get you hurt, or worse KILLED by him!" At her flinch, Hook was touching her face, his fingertips surely getting wet by her tears. "Belle, I'm the one who couldn't bear it, if as a result of my affect on you, it caused you to be hurt in any way."

"It's too late..." Belle whispered and saw how Hook was confused. "I don't love him...I'm scared...scared of Rumplestiltskin, of the future, of what he might do, of what I might have to resign myself too. I don't want to live out my life, spending it at his side. I don't even know if I can pretend enough to fool him into believing nothing has changed...I don't know if I want to even try, if I have to give up on MY happy ever after and the chance for true love."

Hook almost looked as if he didn't know what to say to that. "Belle..."

"I'm going to resent him I know it!" Belle exclaimed. "If I don't already. How can I go on living a lie? I thought...I thought maybe..maybe if I had some memories to draw on, some stolen moments Rumplestiltskin knew nothing about, they would be enough to sustain me. But how can anyone be happy with just a memory, especially one that taunts them with how things should have been?"

"They can't." Hook whispered hoarsely, and Belle all but crumpled against him.

"Oh Hook!" She gasped, realizing too late that he knew exactly what it felt like, that he hadn't been happy with just memories of Mila, that he had been tormented by the idea of what could have been if the woman hadn't been killed. "I didn't mean..."

"I know you didn't lass..." Hook said. "Just as I know you're right. A good memory is not enough, can be nothing but a reminder of how things could have been. God knows I've had plenty of good memories to dwell on, and look at me...look at how torn up and miserable they've made me!"

"I'm sorry...sorry..."

"I'm the one whose sorry." Hook interrupted her apologies. "If you hadn't met me...If I hadn't..." A shake of his head. "I'm the one who ruined things for you."

"No! No you didn't!" Belle protested. "If you hadn't told me, shown me the truth, I would have lived a life ignorant of who I was with, of what kind of man Rumplestiltskin really is..."

"You'd be safe though..." Hook pointed out.

"Safe but without real knowledge." Belle retorted. "I'd have remained blind to his misdeeds...to the wrong he's capable of. But...but more than that...I wouldn't have had this..." She had hold of Hook's hand again, brushing kisses over it's knuckles.

"Belle..."

"I value you...I value each and every moment we've spent on this ship." Belle told him. "I wouldn't trade a second of our time together away for anything."

This time when Hook pulled free of her grip, it wasn't to retreat. Instead he was cupping her face, stroking is thumb over her tear slicked cheek. "I wouldn't trade it either..." He admitted to her, and she let out a muffled laugh.

"Then prove it." She challenged, and even red faced and crying, her eyes twinkled with light. "Kiss me..."

Belle almost laughed at the startled look Hook wore, the man gaping at her. "What about..."

"We'll figure it out." Belle told him, and as uncertain as she was, she also held hope in her heart. The hope that they weren't locked into their fates, that life wasn't as cruel as Hook believed it to be. She might be being foolish, but Belle wanted to believe there was a chance for something better. But a selfish part of her was all about the moment, all about Hook and his kiss and anything else she could get from him. She still wanted to make a good memory, but it was becoming more than that, Belle reaching for Hook as something more than just a defiant rail against a fate she didn't want. For one single moment, she was convinced they stood a chance, that there would be more than just this room and the searing attraction they felt. She was in effect, believing in a future that they could both have.

To be continued...

Well this was an interesting process. It took me about five or six false starts, before I got Belle thoughts at the beginning right. The first attempts all kept going into Rumple is going to kill me, an endless circle of them when I wanted something entirely different. Finally I got the thoughts to be right, and you see that's the first 10 kb of the fic! :D

I've been having health problems that interfered with the writing of ten big time. The next time I was able to concentrate to write, I got 7 more KB written. The rest was written today, and the ending proved the hardest of all. I kinda worry the chapter went from good to bad by the end...not really thrilled with the babbling mess of a last paragraph but it was the best I could do. X_X

Goodness, this is probably the longest Restraint chapter yet. Be interested in any feedback I can get. The ending part didn't go exactly according to plans, but I still think eleven might become the love making chapter! Whoo! *excited for it* Debating on whose POV it will be though. X_X

-Michelle

Kendra Luehr, oh thank you! I was so happy to read you and SN-46's comments about the last chapter. Especially since it was such a struggle to get right. So reading you two's words, was just the kind of encouragement I needed, made it all worth it! *hugs*

Sn-46, thank you so much! As I said to Kendra, the feedback you two gave me is so appreciated and was needed. So thank you. :D And thanks for reminding me what Colin said about his character...that line is just begging to be plot bunnied somehow. Though it's just a glimmer in my head, and not really something for this fic. But I'm babbling. Thanks again!


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